Soft silk skin, soft jade eyes
by cm2
Summary: Syaoran's half mortal, half immortal, but doesn't know it. When he leaves home to find the woman from his dreams, he discovers he's a god, but will he find the woman? And how's he going to win her heart? S/S all the way!!!!!!!!!!!!
1. The Wandering, Illigitimate God

  
**DISCLAIMER: I don't own any CCS characters, they belong to CLAMP.**  
  
So...here's the companion story to "I'm not the one for you"...I hope I e-mailed everyone who wanted to be e-mailed...note that it's a _companion story_ not a sequel, although, this one will end after the other one did....I played around with writing this from Kaiba's pov and Syaoran's pov, but here's the one that turned out the best.  
  
  
  
  
  


**The Wandering illegitimateGod**

  
  
  
_   
**Soko:** A little history lesson first, if you please.  
  
**Enti:** History about the Gods, of course.  
  
**Vega:** Twelve illegitimate Gods, four Wandering Gods.  
  
**Enti:** The illegitimate Gods are all half mortal. Most half mortals aren't gods, but these twelve were different.  
  
**Soko:** The wandering Gods were wanderers, of course.  
  
**Enti:** Three of them were born Gods, but had to prove themselves.  
  
**Vega:** One is an illegitimate.  
  
**Soko:** An illegitimate, wandering God. One must think him very admirable.  
  
**Vega:** And he is.  
  
**Enti:** Who is this God who was the distinction of being an Illigitimate and a Wanderer?  
  
**Vega:** A physical description: Brown hair, amber eyes, solidly built...He looked like his father, but...  
  
**Enti:** He had something his father never had....his mortal father that is.  
  
**Soko:** A god fell in love with his mother, possesed his father, and impregnated her.  
  
**Enti:** He never fit in, in the mortal world.  
  
**Soko:** He was restless.  
  
**Enti:** His physical journey was over when he came to the Realms of the Gods.  
  
**Vega:** Ahh, yes, but his spiritual journey, his journey of the heart was not over until much, much later.  
  
**Soko:** Who else would we be talking about except for the God of marital arts, Syaoran?  
  
**Vega:** Syaoran and his quest for Sakura.  
  
**Soko:** And his quest for his home.  
  
**Enti:** We were not the ones who compelled him to go on his journey.  
  
**Soko:** We do not even know who really sired him.  
  
**Vega:** But which ever God it was must have been one of stout and noble heart.  
  
**Enti:** His story really starts with his mother...  
_   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Yelan Li sat at her table, staring into a piece of polished bronze and brushing her lusterous black hair. Normally, a laughing, bubbly girl, she was subdued tonight, for tonight was her wedding night. After tonight, she would no longer be allowed to go frolick in the streams or chatter loudly with her friends, or go to the market by herself and revel in the scents. No. After tonight, she would be lady of the house. She would be expected to be demure and obediant. She would be accompanied by servants where ever she went, and she already knew she would hate it.  
  
She had the privilage of marrying the wealthiest man in the town. Everyone claimed she was beautiful, but she didn't believe them, not until he had shown her her reflection in a bronze mirror. She was amazingly beautiful, and she had never known it. This had not made her proud. She had been proud since the day she was born. It was just the way she was.  
  
He had said to her that he had been watching her since she was a little girl, but it hadn't been appropriate to speak up until she was at least fifteen. He was twenty five years older than she.  
  
At first, she was flattered that such an important figure was her future husband, but as time passed, she grew disillusioned. The man was as timid as a mouse! Once she had thought of him as a strong, solid, brave man, but never more! Yelan, herself was a headstrong girl and had a strong distaste for men who were as pathetic as her husband.  
  
The door opened slowly. She expected him to walk in roaring drunk and was pleased when he came to her sober. There wasn't even the smell of drink on his breath. He held her awkwardly in his arms. She closed herself to him, but he talked softly and lovingly to her, whispering things that all women want to hear from men, and kissing her gently, not wanting rush her. She rather appreciated his thoughtfulness.  
  
The night passed slowly, he was afraid of hurting her too much, and when whimpered a little in pain, he cried and apologized. This was what she grew used to.  
  
The years, too, passed slowly. Her boredom was lessened by four daughters. Four, happy, bubbling daughters that reminded Yelan of herself when she was younger. She wanted a son.  
  
Then one night, her husband came to her, bold and swaggering with confidence. She was fearful of this new man, and was unused to the intensely passionate way he made love to her. She looked into his eyes. This was not her husband, but something else. What ever it was, she liked it. She arched her back in pleasure, keeping her eyes locked on this familiar stranger. In the morning, her husband woke up. Yelan looked in his eyes, wondering if the fire was still in him. Disappointed, she tried to forget about the night before.  
  
Day after day, her husband would be timid and shy in the morning, then be an absolute devil at night. She wondered if he was secretly drinking, but she didn't mind, she liked the change. However, when she told her husband she was again with child, he changed, or rather, he went back to normal. She had told him at night, expecting mad love to follow her announcement, but instead, he clumsily touched her and kissed her, and timorously made love to her. Yelan was frusterated. Where was that man who she had welcomed to her night after night?  
  
Not a night would pass where she wouldn't look eagerly into her husband's eyes, yearning for the fire to come back.  
  
She got the son she wanted.   
  
  
  
  



	2. A Dream about Green Eyes

  
**DISCLAIMER: I don't own any CCS characters, they belong to CLAMP.**  
  
  
  
a/n: sorry for the long long wait...i've been busy, what with AP tests so close....it's insanity....i hope you like this....   
  
  
  


**A dream about Green Eyes**

  
  
  
  
"Syaoran! Get away from those! Now!" Yelan yelled at her toddler son who had just come very close to some spears. She rushed over and swept him out of harms way. He looked gravely into his mother's eyes and went with her calmly.  
  
She had named him Syaoran. "Little Wolf". She hoped that he would become not like his father, but not like the man who his father had changed into at night, before he was concieved. She wanted him to be a little of both. Her little boy was much more serious than any of her daughters. After Syaoran was born, his father became ill and soon died. It was after his death that she completely absorbed herself in her son to ward off grief. It wasn't that his death wasn't expected, he was twenty five years older than her, it was that she really did love him, timid ways and all.  
  
Syaoran rested his head on his mother's shoulder and she patted his head and kissed his downy cheek. She walked with him to the gardens and rocked him to sleep. Her son was going to be a wonderful man, if he lived that long. Yelan was always catching him close to weapons and near the practice rooms. Since he was small, and couldn't quite walk yet, he would not be spotted easily by those who were using the rooms, so he could easily get hurt. If anything happened to her precious baby boy...  
  
Yelan didn't like thinking about that. Her son rarely smiled and rarely cried. He seemed to observe everything in the world with the same serious look, as if trying to unlock its secrets. He would be a very scholarly man if that attitude kept up. She looked down at sleeping Syaoran. She gently took him to his room and put him in his crib and then sat by his side.  
  
When Syaoran opened his eyes, he saw his mother asleep next to his crib. He rolled over onto his stomach and crawled to the side of the crib. He used the railing to support himself while he stood up. He was a little shakey on his feet and he fell down. He frowned a little and tried again with the same result. Yelan woke up to see her boy trying to stand up. She watched him for a while with a soft smile on her face. Syaoran saw that his mother was awake and held onto the railing, bouncing, wanting to be picked up. He was smiling.  
  
After Syaoran learned to walk, it was harder to keep him away from the practice rooms, but at least he was easier to spot and avoid. Yelan realized her son had a penchant for martial arts and when he was six, found him a martial arts master.  
  
Syaoran was a natural at martial arts. He picked up everything quickly and soon surpassed his master. When that happened, his mother found him a new master to teach him another branch of fighting. He soon ran out of things to learn. Syaoran's seriousness made him an excellent scholar, even though what he would have prefered was practicing.  
  
When he was fourteen, he started noticing girls. Girls had started noticing him earlier, but he had ignored them. Of course, the female population of the village was delighted that Syaoran was finally looking at them. They absolutely loved him because he was good looking and caring. None of the girls he saw, though, were what he was looking for. He wasn't sure what he wanted, but he knew he would know when he saw her. So he waited.  
  
He did, however, grow close to one girl. There wasn't a girl in the village who didn't wish to be in her place. They had known each other since they were little children. She perhaps had half of his fighting ability, but her determination to beat Syaoran made up the other half. They were fiercely competative but were friends as well. She was one of the only people in the village who knew Syaoran's softer, gentler side, even though he rarely showed it. Her name was Meiling.  
  
Syaoran thought that she was the one he was waiting for. He thought he was in love with her, yet there were times when doubt would gnaw at his heart. He was not competely satisifed with her, there was still something missing. Syaoran would spend hours meditating to banish the thought from his heart, but the thought prevaded. Sometimes, days would go by before the hated thought would return, but it always returned. Yelan, too, could sense the confusion in Syaoran's heart. She wondered if Syaoran was making the right decision when he came to her one day.  
  
"Mother," he knocked on her door. Syaoran had had to wait very patiently for the right time to have this conversation, or else his over enthusiastic sisters would evesdrop and tease him unmercifully. They were all out shopping now.  
  
"Come in," was her simple reply.  
  
Syaoran sat down in front of her and started again. "Mother. I..." he gulped. Suddenly, the _Thought_ came back. He scowled.  
  
Yelan raised an eyebrow. "Are you alright Syaoran?"  
  
Syaoran once again came to attention. "Huh? Oh, yes, I'm fine." He cleared his throat. "I was wondering..." He cleared his throat again. "I was wondering....if...if..."  
  
"All right. Out with it. You know I'll probably say yes anyway."  
  
"If...if...I....you...if you would give me permission to ask Meiling to marry me." He was surprised that he had even been able to say anything because of the _Thought_.  
  
Yelan pursed her lips. She knew that her son sometimes wasn't completely happy with Meiling and wondered if he was making the right choice. Syaoran saw the look on his mother's face and wondered if she was going to say no. He sat watching her for an eternity. She finally spoke. "I'm not against it, but are you _sure_ this is what you want?"  
  
Yelan had asked that question to see if he still had doubts about Meiling. She watched a mixture of expressions flicker across his face. He still wasn't sure. Syaoran silently cursed. His mother had made the _Thought_ come back. "I see. I need to think about this some more." He got up and left. Yelan was about to call him back when she decided that Syaoran would be able to come to a conclusion without her help.  
  
His sisters bombarded him when he left their mother's room. _Oh, man, I thought they were all out_ he thought as he prepared himself for being smothered.  
  
"Oooooo! Little brother is thinking about getting married!"  
  
"To Meiling!!!!!!! CUTE!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Syaoran is growing up too fast!"  
  
"But you're still _our_ little brother, so you have to tell us. EVERYTHING!"  
  
Syaoran scowled. "I'm not getting married anytime soon. Besides. What makes you think you'll be invited to my wedding anyway?" He stalked off to his room to think.  
  
His sisters watched him leave. "Soooo cute!!!!!!!" they sighed collectively.  
  
"Girls!" Their mother called from inside her room. They four immediately went to their mother.  
  
"You are not to tell Meiling anything," she ordered.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
Yelan glared. "Yes, mother," they all said before leaving. Yelan pinched the bridge of her nose. A headache was threatening. One way or another, she was going to loose her precious son. He was going to find something that would make him leave, she could feel it in her bones. She wanted to keep him at her side for always, but...but...  
  
She repreimanded herself. Syaoran was growing up. He was not the little boy he used to be, and he had his own path in life to follow. She had known that he would be different because his father...his father wasn't exactally his father when he was concieved. She would have to allow him to follow it, even if it meant never seeing him again. Tears were threatening. NO. She would not cry at the loss of her son.  
  
He lay on his bed and tried to think. Why was he doubting? What was he doubting? Why was he cursed with thinking so much? He tried to stay awake to think, but his bed was so comfortable and his room was so warm that he just drifted off to sleep without realizing it.  
  
Opening his eyes, he saw that everything around him was white. There was a huge house with a large cherry tree in front of it. The air was permeated with the smell of...of...well, he couldn't quite put his finger on the smell, but it enveloped him, and comforted him the way his mother's embrace had when he was a child. There was a woman standing beside the tree, her hand resting on the bark and her back was partially turned to him. Her gaze was focused on the ground and she had a wistful expression on her face. She had soft brown hair. She seemed to hear his silent footsteps and she turned around. Syaoran's breath caught in his throat. He had never seen anyone so beautiful before. Her already luminous eyes brightened when she saw him and she flew into his arms and was about to kiss him when he opened his eyes.  
  
It was all so real. It took Syaoran a few seconds to realize that he had been sleeping. He rested his hands behind his head and tried to recall the face. He could not. No matter how hard he tried, he was unable to recall the face, except that she had green eyes. She also had incredibly soft skin. Even though it was all just a dream, he knew that some where, there was a girl like that. He was going to find her.  
  
  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
  
  
"Mother," Syaoran was back in his mother's study. "Mother, I had a dream."  
  
Yelan always paid paricular attention to her dreams, since they often came true. She wanted to know about her son's dream. "And...I can't marry Meiling."  
  
She was startled. "Really? Why not?"  
  
Syaoran didn't want his mother to become angry, so he hesitated. "There...there's someone else out there." His eyes became soft and distant. "I don't know where she is, or who she is, but I know she's out there."  
  
Yelan studied Syaoran. There was no use asking for an exact explination. That was the way dreams were. There was something else he wasn't telling her though.  
  
"Mother, I have to go look for her."  
  
Yelan drew her breath in sharply. She had been afraid of this. She was going to loose her boy.  
  
"I know you don't want me to, but..."  
  
"No, no, Syaoran. I understand. You have to go. I can't stop you.."  
  
Syaoran gave his mother one of his rare smiles and hugged her before he left. Yelan stood up on trembling legs. All she could think about was Syaoran, her beautiful baby boy was going to leave. She wanted to cry. The pain in her heart was terrible. She wanted to cry so badly. But she fell to the floor, unconcious instead.  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
"You're leaving me because of a stupid dream??" Meiling yelled. She was so sure that she would end up marrying Syaoran, but then this...  
  
Syaoran had nothing to say. He was leaving Meiling on the flimsiest excuse. A dream. Maybe he should stay here. There was the _Thought_ too. The persistant doubt that had made him question his feelings since the very beginning, but he couldn't tell Meiling that. He had to go.  
  
"A dream? Syaoran?" she asked again.  
  
"Yes. A dream."  
  
"What does this girl have that I don't?" she demanded, her hand on her hips.  
  
Syaoran mumbled something about green eyes.  
  
"Is green eyes what you want? GREEN EYES?" She was close to tears.  
  
Syaoran sighed. "It's not just green eyes, Meiling."   
"Then what is it?" she said through clenched teeth.  
  
"Meiling. There's somethings that are just inexplicable. I'm going to go look for this girl whether you like it or not," he yelled a little more forcefully and more loudly than he had intended.  
  
Meiling winced and some servants came out to see what the fuss was about. Yelan also came out, looking weary and older. The change in his mother startled Syaoran. "Mother!" he exclaimed and rushed over to her.  
  
Meiling trotted along beside him and helped Yelan sit down. "Mrs. Li. Did you know about Syaoran...?"  
  
Yelan nodded. "I know."  
  
"You're just going to let him leave?"  
  
Again, she nodded. "He has to. It's not his destiny to stay here."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"It's not his destiny. He walks to a different drum than the rest of us."  
  
"WHAT?!" She couldn't believe it. His mother was letting him just leave! And she was the one who had clung to him since he was a baby! The world was against her.  
  
"He leaving Meiling. Sorry."  
  
Meiling glared. "That was harsh." She stomped off to find something to let her anger and frusteration out on.  
  
Syaoran and Yelan sat in silence after Meiling stormed away. Syaoran looked at his mother, thinking that she had aged ten years in the ten minutes since he last saw her. It occured to him that she did not want him to leave, but if he asked...  
  
"Mother, I think I should stay," he said concernedly.  
  
Yelan was startled. What made Syaoran change his mind? A selfish part of her wanted to tell him to stay, but the part of her that wanted the best for Syaoran, the part of her that she hated at that moment, said, "No. It's your destiny to go. Go search for your green-eyed woman." Her voice was chocked with emotion that shocked Syaoran. He had never seen his mother express so much emotion before. She sniffed to regain her composure and immediately went back to her old self. "I will help you make preparations," she told him before she disappeared back into the house.  
  
A week later, Syaoran departed amidst protests and tears from his adoring sisters. Meiling had ignored him that whole week and it was only on that last day that she came out of her seclusion and bid him an icy farewell. Him mother had been extremely helpful. She had provided him with money, durable clothes, food, as well as a small bronze plaque that made it known to all that he was a member of the Li family. Since the Li family was well respected throughout the country, the plaque would help him immensly.  
  
Yelan once again, had let her emotion show through at her son's departure. She had let herself cry in front of her children. She hoped she would see her son again some day.   
  
  
  
a/n: syaoran as a baby....kawaiiiiiiiiii *falls over*  
  
if you want be to e-mail you when the chapters come out, tell me so...i wasn't sure who wanted to be told, so I only e-mailed the people who were asked in my other story....thnxs!   



	3. Coming and Going

  
**DISCLAIMER: I don't own any CCS characters, they belong to CLAMP.**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Coming and Going**

  
  
  
  
The Fates were telling my story, but I want to tell my own story. I think there are things in my life I can tell better than the all seeing Fates can. No offense to them.  
  
All right, my reasons for leaving were stupid. You don't have to tell me that. Any other sane person would have just left well enough alone and married Meiling, but I'm not normal. So there I was, in the middle of the road. I had not clue which direction to go in and the road had split into four paths. My horse, however, had ideas of his own. He took the both of us on the westward path.  
  
That was how I made my decisions. I couldn't decide where to go, but my horse always knew. Why was my horse smarter than me?  
  
Mother had always told me how important our family was, since we were a huge, sucessful trading family, but I didn't realize exactally how important being a Li was until I made this trip. Every where I went, no matter how far away from home it was, people had heard of my family. In some places I even meet relatives I would never have meet other wise. They would always give me messages to send to my mother or my sisters, or some relative in another village. My memory improved quite a bit during that trip.  
  
Being on the road was refreshing. I'd never traveled by myself before, and I enjoyed the freedom I found. The birds, the air, the scenery. A nice little break from learning to keep books at home.  
  
In most of the villages, I didn't meet anyone like the girl in my dream. Green eyes were quite rare. Almost as rare as my light brown ones. Almost.  
  
One village I went to, there was a girl with green eyes and brown hair. I remember her quite well. The first time I saw her, was in the tavern. She was a serving wench. I asked who she was, except the person next to me was too drunk to give me anything except for her name. "Victoria," he slurred, and then he added some kind of commentary about her body. I don't really remember because it turns out, she was not only a good-looking serving-wench, she was also the village whore.  
  
  
  
  
No Sakura, darling, I didn't get involved with her.  
  
  
  
  
If I had relatives in the village, they would get me to stay and try to set me up with the local beauties. After all, "A good looking young man like you should have a nice wife," one of my uncles said. None of them even looked like the girl in my dreams, so one by one, I rejected them. My uncles, aunts and cousins were all sorely confused.  
  
"What's wrong with you Syaoran?" they would ask. "These are girls other men would die for!" they would say.  
  
I'll admit, there _were_ times where I just wanted to give up. It seemed like I would never find what I was looking for. Never. But always, when I was about to give up, the dream would come back again. Always the same setting and she was always so beautiful. Near the beginning of my travels, I made the mistake of telling a cousin that. "Are you sure that woman's not just a figment of your imagination?" he asked me.  
  
"Positive," he gave me an odd look, "now look here, there's something about this dream I can't dismiss. If you had it, you would understand too."  
  
He shook his head and sighed. I made him promise not to tell anyone.  
  
Their attention smothered me almost as much as my sisters did at home, so after three years of traveling, I decided it was time to go home. I bought gifts for my family and hoped they were all still there. My mother did look a little pale when I left. I didn't want to leave her like that, but she wouldn't let me stay either.  
  
  
  
  
I'd like to take some time out to tell the legend of how the God of Martial arts was discovered. It's a short story. He was created out of a sword. How lame is that? Lame. Created out of a sword. What hoot of a priest thought up that story? He must have been half drunk when he thought it up because I can tell you, I was not made out of a sword.  
  
  
  
  
The trip home was longer than I thought it would be. I probably shouldn't have let my horse guide me the way I did before, but then again. It was a good thing that my horse guided me. I was riding through flat lands and I could see some one walking towards me. A person walking in the flatlands by themselves is unusual enough, but even more memorable was that this person was a woman.  
  
From far away, I could see something following her. Normally, I would have left her alone, but the something that was following her was a raggedy human, not an animal as I had thought it was. I urged my steed in the woman's direction. I didn't get to her first though. The other man did.  
  
I don't like it when men are harsh with women. It offends me to the core. It looked like the woman didn't know the man, so I urged my horse to go faster. When I got to her, the man was trying to choke her and she was trying to get away from him. It turned out that the woman was wearing some jewlery. Not a good idea if you're traveling alone.  
  
Even though it wasn't any of my business, I hurt the other man pretty badly. He saw that I was going to challenge him and tossed the woman aside to fight me. I distinctly recall his running away twice as fast as he'd come. It was after I helped the woman up that I got a good look at her. The first thing I noticed were her eyes, a habit of mine by then.  
  
Her eyes were even more golden than mine. Almost like a wolf's or an owl's eyes. She was only a little bit shorter than I was and her hair was light brown. She didn't look like any villager i'd ever seen in that area, plus she was traveling alone wearing costly jewels and fabrics. She looked me straight in the eye and seemed to see right through me. She walked away without saying anything, just a grateful smile. I had, for some reason, held my breath and was starting to see spots, so I had to order myself to breath.  
  
"We'll meet again," I heard her say. Her voice was spectacularly soothing. I didn't really hear what she said until after she said it. Why did she say we would meet again? There certainly were a lot of mad people running around the world. I turned around in the direction she had left. She was gone! Some things are best left forgotten. If this situation wasn't one of them, I don't know what was.  
  
When I got home, I was greeted by an empty, darkened house. My first thought was that they had moved away, but I rejected that one because my mother loved out house dearly, but as I went from room to room, lighting lamps and fires, I started wondering if indeed my family was gone. Then I heard the giggles behind me. The trademark of my four sisters were their giggles. "Ha ha, very funny you guys. I know you're there, so the four of you can come out now," I said.  
  
"Aaaaiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" they screamed as the ran out of hiding and pounced on me. I couldn't tell what they were saying after that since I was trying to get air. "Little Brother has grown up sooooooooooo much," one said.  
  
"You should have visited earlier!" said another at the same time as, "what are you talking about? Syaoran hasn't changed at all!!!" and then there was another collective squeal.  
  
"Where's mom?" I asked as soon as they were done.  
  
"Shopping."  
  
The answer had barely escaped their lips when my mother walked in. She hadn't changed much since I had last seen her, which was almost four years. My sudden reappearance threw her off balance. She stuttered my name and then, "I need to sit down."  
  
For that whole first day, my mother followed me everywhere I went and then at night, she wanted to tuck me in and tell me a bed time story. She hadn't done that since I was a child! It wasn't until the next day though, that I discovered something.  
  
"Mother, where's Meiling?" Meiling had always been around, but the realization that I hadn't seen her didn't occur to me until the next day for some reason.  
  
"Meiling...she's been sick for the last two months," she gravely replied.  
  
"Sick?" my astonishment surprised even me. Meiling had always been a healthy girl and a fighter too. I wanted to go see her.  
  
"No," my mother said. "You might get her hopes up."  
  
"I promise I won't say anything to make her think I'm here for her. Besides Mother, I have something to give her."  
  
She seemed to consider it for a moment and finally gave in.  
  
The change in Meiling was more than I expected. Her breathing was rattly and her skin pallid. It looked like she had lost the will to live.  
  
She woke up when my mother and I came into the room but refused to look at me. "What do _you_ want?" she spat, her voice burned with distaste for me.  
  
"I wanted to give you something," on the table next to her bed, I set down a beautifully hand carved bird. Meiling loved birds. When we were younger, she used to have all sorts of birds in her room. Now there were none except for the one I brought in.  
  
She turned her head to look at me. Her face spoke of unfulfilled dreams and shattered hopes. "You think I just want some triffle from you?"  
  
I sighed. It was stupid of me not to think she would bring this up. "You want me to love you in a way I can't Meiling," I replied, beggin her to understand.  
  
"I'm dying you know," she said matter-of-factly.  
  
"Nonsense. What did the doctors say?"  
  
"Screw the doctors. You think I'd know my own body."  
  
I wanted to put some hope in her. "They could be right."  
  
"But they're wrong." Well, so much for that tactic.  
  
I couldn't think of anything else, so I used my last resort. From where I was, the wealthy weren't terribly religious, but the villagers were. "Did you try the Gods?"  
  
"If the Gods existed they would have answered my prayers."  
  
I didn't know what to say anymore. My best friend really had lost hope. I stood up. "I'm going to try the Gods."  
  
"What for?" she argued bitterly, "you have no reason to."  
  
"Meiling, just because I don't love you the way you want doesn't mean I don't love you. You're my best friend and whether you like it or not, I'm not going to let you die, just like that." I paused to see the effects of my words. Nothing. Her face was turned away from me, but when I sighed, I saw tears form in her eyes.  
  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  
  
Since I wasn't familiar with the mythology of the Gods, it took a few days for me to learn about them. I suppose I could have simply visited every single shrine in the village, but our village was large; visiting every shrine would have taken weeks. In the end, though, I visited the temple to every god and goddess that was even remotely connected to health.  
  
Everyday, I would talk to Meiling, try to give her some kind of hope. Everyday, she would tell me to give up. Everyday, she would look away when I came. I suppose she was angry still. But, everyday, I noticed that the carved bird I'd given her had moved. Maybe she wasn't so angry after all.  
  
Weeks passed. I'd patronized every diety that was connected to health and still Meiling was no better. She was worse. I desparately wanted her to get well. I wanted to hear her yell at me, I wanted to hear her challenge me, I wanted to look at her.  
  
I prayed to Hitas, the Goddess of physical well-being. I didn't pray, I pleaded, begged, cajoled, threatened; I didn't pray.  
  
There was only one entrence to the Temple of Hitas. One entrence and one guardian, an elderly priestess whom I had grown fond of, as she sympathized with my cause. I was the only one in the temple that fateful day, besides the priestess. Kneeling at the base of Hitas' golden statue, a breeze of conversation whispered past my ear. Even on the noisiest market day, the temple of Hitas was usually quiet, so I looked around.  
  
Had someone else been in the temple, I would have seen them right away, for between the doorway and the alter was a long hall and no where to hide. Uneasily, I went back to praying. Another trickle of talk reached my ear soon after. This time, there was no doubt about it; the voices were coming from inside the temple.  
  
It could have been the priestess, but she was tending a small garden she had in the back and she was alone. Back in the temple, I called out, "Who's there?"  
  
The whispers were more audible after my question, but there was no answer. "Who's there?" I asked again.  
  
This time, three women clad in white stepped out from the shadows behind the goddess' image. One had gold hair, another had bronze hair, and the last had black hair. I'm not quite sure what, exactally, I did, but I did ask incredulously, "Who are you?"  
  
"Are you wanting to trap some flies?" the brunette asked and she walked over and shut my mouth for me.  
  
The two remaining behind looked at each other. "He can see us!"  
  
"Am I not supposed to be able to see you?" These three women were obviously insane.  
  
"Not unless you're a god." Yes. These women were definately insane.  
  
"A god?" I asked skeptically.  
  
"Kaho was right."  
  
"Mmm," the blonde one agreed. "Syaoran, we've been waiting for a chance to come and see you."  
  
"What? Wait. Who's Kaho? Who're you? How did you know my name!?" I demanded.  
  
"Little boy, do you know who we are?" the brunette demanded in return.  
  
Offended as I was that she refered to me as a little boy, I answered anyways, "no. Enlighten me."  
  
"The Fates," the blonde eagerly supplied.  
  
The Fates were merely rumors. The myth of myths, legend of legends, a tale to frighten children into behaving. What ever twisted joke the villagers were playing on me, I was fed up. I couldn't take it anymore, so I turned my back on them and left.  
  
But before I could step out of the temple, they called out, "wait. We are allowed to prove to you who we are." I turned around. The three were glowing and...and...and they were floating? They were floating, and then they disappeared.  
  
I walked through the village, determinded to forget everything that had just occured in the temple. Since I couldn't, I went to a story teller. Story tellers knew all the myths and legends of every God in existance. There was only one in my village, his name was Ved. He lived in a rather large and spacious hut with no door. He didn't "believe" in doors. Said they blocked the spirits out. Instead, he had a canvas sized blue cloth covering the door way.  
  
Being inside his hut always made me slightly nautious. The concentrated smoke stung my nostrils and irritated my eyes. "What have I done to deserve a visit from a member of the Li clan?" he reverently asked. Ved's back was turned to the door. He had a talent for identifying visitors before he even saw them. Unsettling the first time, but I got used to it.  
  
"Nothing. I have a question for you."  
  
"Oh goodie, a question." He turned around and walked stiffly over to the fire in the middle which illuminated his weathered face and leathery skin. His mop of hair was kept out of his face by means of a simple leather tie. Even though he was realatively young, he looked old. "I've been standing at that counter hoping someone new would come in," he confessed, stretching his legs.  
  
"Why? So you can scare them?"  
  
"Oh yeah," he answered, eyes glittering mischeviously. Story tellers often were choosen for their childishness. I don't mean to say that they were naieve in any way. In fact, they are among the shrewdest people I've ever meet. Their playful inner child has just never been subdued and that's what makes their stories so interesting to hear. "So, Syaoran, my boy, what's your question?" Ved suddenly not only looked old, but he also _sounded_ old.  
  
"Ved, what can you tell me about mortals turning into gods and...and of the Fates."  
  
"Mortals turning into gods and the Fates, eh?" He ummed and ahhed for a few minutes. "I would say that the precedent for mortals turning into gods is that they usually are taken at a young age and their parents usually know what's going on. Thinking about going to the divine realms Syaoran?" he cackled at his own "joke".  
  
"Just keep going Ved."  
  
"The Fates...the Fates are always entwined with the mortals turning into Gods issue. You know, not much is known about them because they aren't in any of the stories. They're three women in white though; that _is_ the _only_ common thread."  
  
"The only common thread?" I repeated.  
  
Ved nodded. I sighed and got up. "Thanks Ved."  
  
So I wandered through the market place, trying to clear my mind. The sound of merchants hawking their goods was comforting. I loved the market place. The smells were fantastic; you could tell what part of the market you were in just by the smells. The busiest place was the Plaza, since that was where all the food was.  
  
"Syaoran," an erthreal voice whispered in my ear. I whirled around, expecting to see someone I knew, but there was no one. "Up hear," the voice said again. I looked up and there were the Fates, floating carefully three feet above everyone's head. Someone tapped my shoulder.  
  
"What are you looking at?" It was a servant who had come to call me home.  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. The choice that wasn't mine

  
**DISCLAIMER: I don't own any CCS characters, they belong to CLAMP.**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**The choice that wasn't mine**

  
  
  
  
Everywhere I went, the Fates would appear. Even in my own house, I was not left alone! I finally had to admit to myself that this was not the villagers playing a trick on me; it was time to see that the Fates had to say.  
  
It didn't take long to find them. After all, they were everywhere. I wanted to make sure that my opinion was heard so I started off the conversation. "Okay, so if I'm a mortal who's supposed to be a god, why did you say that you didn't know until Kaho told you?"  
  
"Don't you want to know who Kaho is anymore?" the black haired one asked.  
  
"No, I figured it out."  
  
"So, you finally decided to come with us," the blonde one stated.  
  
"I didn't say that. Why can't you just answer my question?"  
  
"Alas," the brunette started. I noticed she tended to be a bit more melodramatic than the others. "The Universe has a perverse sense of humor."  
  
I hadn't caught on to the slight emphasis that was put on "Universe", so I was dumbfounded at their answer to my question. They noted my expression and explained.  
  
"People think the Fates control everything-"  
  
I couldn't resist, I just had to say my little comment, "no...the people actually think you don't exist."  
  
She looked at me awkwardly and then her expression became thoughtful. "Is that so? Well, we'll have to do something about that then....anyway. Back to the story," she glared.  
  
The blonde took over. "We don't really have much say in anything. We're just messangers for the Universe."  
  
"I trust you three have names?"  
  
"Of course," she sniffed and looked offended. The blonde was Soko, the brunette was Enti, and the dark-haired one was Vega and they were sisters.  
  
Vega continued where Soko left off. "When the Gods mate with mortals, the offspring produced aren't supposed to have any divine blood. You do though, which makes you unusual."  
  
"So, how did I get this divine blood?" I asked, genuinely curious.  
  
They looked at each other sheepishly. "We actually don't know. ehe...he.....he........"  
  
I sighed. "So what _do_ you know?"  
  
"We know that you are definately supposed to be a god."  
  
"How so?"  
  
"There's someone you're supposed to help....later..." Enti looked like she was about to go on, but her two sisters stopped her.  
  
"Syaoran!" my mother called. "Who are you talking to?"  
  
"Ah....a.....a....no one mother!" I turned to look at the Fates, an idea occured to me. "My friend-"  
  
"The sick one you've been praying for. We know."  
  
"How did you know?"  
  
"We know lots of things."  
  
"Can you help her?"  
  
"She had been marked by the Dark Lord." The Dark Lord. I remembered him from stories. It was said that once you were marked by the Dark Lord, your death was garunteed. My heart sunk. If Meiling was marked by the Dark Lord, then everything I had done...there really was no hope. I felt my feet turn me around and take me out of the practice courts. All I could think of was really loosing my best friend.  
  
She had never looked to frail before. She had never looked so ill before. She had never looked so tiny. One look at my face and she knew. "So, you've finally admited to yourself the inevitable about me," she said in a saddened matter-of-fact tone that she always used when she won an arguement.  
  
I had nothing to say. No words of encouragement, no glimmer of hope to give her. "I knew you'd see the truth someday," she went on after a little while. "Everyone dies Syaoran. I'm just dying sooner than the rest. Even you'll die someday."  
  
No, if the Fates were right, I would never die. I would never die, and I would have to watch the people around me die. The people that I loved and sometimes hated would be gone because if the Fates were right, I would never die. Meiling didn't know that though and even though I couldn't have done anything for her, had I only listened to the Fates the first time, I might have been able to find some way to speak to the Dark Lord, to pursuade him to free my friend.  
  
"Syaoran, Syaoran are you ok?" Meiling tugged at my sleeve. Her voice contained a note of concern I'd not heard in years.  
  
"Yes, yes. I'm fine," I lied.  
  
"Then why are you crying?" I touched my face. So I had been crying. I stopped my tears. I had to be brave for her.  
  
Before I left, I kissed her cheek. Much to my surprise, it was wet. I hadn't noticed that she had been crying too. She clung to me. "Syaoran. I'm so scared of dying. I don't want to leave," I heard her sob. What was I supposed to say? I didn't want her to leave either. I simply let her cry into my shoulder until she fell asleep.  
  
The next morning, I woke up with a very sore and stiff back. I had fallen asleep sitting on the ground, my head on a low table in Meiling's room. I didn't remember ever falling asleep there. Her light breathing told me that she was still asleep and thankfully, still alive. She didn't wake up until almost noon that day, and when she woke up, she wanted to talk to me.  
  
"Syaoran...I had the oddest dream last night," she whispered. She didn't wait for a response before continuing. "I haven't had a dream in so long. Don't laugh at me when I tell you what it's about." I nodded. "I dreamed that you would live forever. I dreamed that you were a god."  
  
"What?"  
  
She sucked in her breath. "You're laughing at me aren't you? I can tell."  
  
"No, no, Meiling," I cut in. I really wasn't laughing. I was flabergasted that she dreamed I was a god. The Fates. "I wasn't laughing Meiling. Really. I was just surprised."  
  
"I knew you would understand..." her voice trailed off and I couldn't hear her breathe anymore.  
  
Alarms sounded in my head and I shook her and yelled her name, begging her not to go. She opened her eyes lazily again and whispered a breathy, "Hmmm...?"  
  
"Meiling, no, you can't die now. You're going to get better remember?"  
  
Her hand moved weakly and tried to push me away. "No, don't make me stay here. It hurts too much." Her eyes closed again.  
  
"No, Meiling, don't go to sleep. Try and look at me again. Please."  
  
She all of a sudden had a surge of strength and she pushed me away. "Let me go. Syaoran. Be good to me one last time, and let me go."  
  
All of a sudden, a black, black figure appeared at her bed side and bent over as if to pick her up. I knew who this was. The Dark Lord was coming for Meiling. A voice I couldn't even recognize as my own escaped my lips and sounded out a strangled no. I was frozen to the ground. The Dark Lord straightened up and in his arms was a silvery replica of Meiling. Her soul, her spirit. He disappeared and I fell. I don't know how long I was there for, but I felt myself being lifted up. "Sometimes, right before death, mortals see pieces of the future."  
  
That voice. It sounded so familiar. I willed myself to look up, so see who was helping me. "Pull yourself together, Syaoran. There are things that need to be done." That voice sounded familar too, but I could place it. Before my eyes were three blurs of white light. I squinted to try to focus.  
  
"Who...?" I muttered.  
  
"We're the Fates, Syaoran, don't you remember?" another gentle voice said.  
  
"The Fates?" My memory was coming back.  
  
"Oh, no, someone's coming." They let go of me. I had been on my feet when they were supporting me, but after they let go, I fell again. I simply couldn't believe that the girl who had been by my side since childhood was gone.  
  
My mother was coming, I could tell my the sound of the foot steps. She stopped in the door way. "Syaoran," she gasped, "Oh, no..." She saw Meiling and rushed over to the body. After a few moments, she came to me and helped me up. "I'm sorry." This was another one of the few times in my life I had ever seen my mother cry.  
  
"Let's go, Mother, there are things...arrangements that need to be made," I said in an effort to deal with my grief.  
  
"No, I saw the way you were when I came in. You're going straight to bed for today. I'll take care of everything."  
  
She was being unreasonable. There was no reason I shouldn't help, but my mother steered me into my room. She was right. I was asleep as soon as lay down.  
  
When I opened my eyes again, a woman in a peach dress stood before me. She was carrying a willow branch and crying. She was kind of blurry, like she wasn't really in my room and an unseen breeze flew around her. It took a while for me to realize this was an immortal and even longer for me to realize that this was Hitas, goddess of health. "Wha...?"  
  
"Child," she started, "I'm sorry for your loss. I pleaded with my brother to let your friend go. Your pleas were most eloquent."  
  
"What? Thank you...I think."  
  
"The Fates tell me you will be joining us soon. Maybe our paths will cross again, my child." That must have been her way of saying farewell because she started fading away. If all gods had to call mortals "my child," then I wasn't so sure I wanted to be a god. Oh well, that was a problem for another day. I needed sleep right now.  
  
In my dream, the green-eyed girl I had searched so hard for was there. She was telling me something, but I couldn't hear what it was. She seemed so happy though. So happy. Her smile was so beautiful and so genuine. I wondered what was making her so happy. Then it occured to me. Maybe this was a glimpse of my future. Maybe I _was_ supposed to be a god. Maybe that's where I would find this woman. And then I woke up. I was back in reality, where I had a funeral I needed to help prepare for.  
  
I had slept for longer than anticipated. Almost a full twenty four hours. I had never slept that long in one sitting in my life and the excess of sleep made me feel like jelly. I tried to help out as much as I could, but my mother and sisters wouldn't let me. They seemed to expect me to just sit and mourn all day. I couldn't do that though. I couldn't do nothing, but before I my anger got the better of me, they finished. I marveled at the speed at which they worked even though they would periodically break down in tears and bouts of mild depression.  
  
The funeral was extravagant. The excessive mourning of some of my relatives sickened me. They hadn't even known her as well as I did, how dare they talk about her as if they knew her? I had to excuse myself to throw up. For a week, people poured in and out of our house, trying to comfort Meiling's parents and my mother who had always thought of Meiling as a fifth daughter. My sisters were uncharacteristically subdued during the whole thing.  
  
I had no tears to shed. Some people thought it was harsh of me to seem to ignore Meiling's passing, but I hadn't ignored it. I had just used up my grief. I don't even remember much of her funeral, I was so distressed. But no one else could know that, and I heard whispers of my unsympathetic actions from everyone. They didn't understand the everyone mourns in their own way.  
  
My life didn't return to normal after that. I didn't hear from the Fates again for a long time, and I had almost forgotten about them. I felt guilty that I would live forever and Meiling had to die so young. I felt selfish for only thinking about my dream. If I hadn't left her, maybe she wouldn't have gotten sick. My mother assuered me, though, that it wasn't my fault, but the guilt kept eating away at me.  
  
One day, my mother called for me. In an oddly constrained voice, she ordered me to go to her study. I thought that this would be a lecture, for neglecting my duties and spending all my time either in the practice courts or in the graveyard. But it wasn't. I walked into her study and there they were. The Fates in all their glory. "Ack! You three again!" I yelled.  
  
"So, you know each other?" my mother warily asked.  
  
"Uhhh..." She took my utterance as a yes.  
  
"I wasn't sure whether or not to take them seriously or not."  
  
"Ummm...what did they say?"  
  
"We told her that you are supposed to be a god, Syaoran," Enti answered for my mother.  
  
There was silence in the room. "So what do we do now?" my mother sighed.  
  
"Well..." Soko hesitated. "There's another boy, a bit younger the Syaoran, whom we need to take with us. Actually, he's been in the Realms for a while, he's just been in an area that's sparsely popualted."  
  
"Why?" I asked.  
  
"He's rather difficult," Enti sighed.  
  
"He's too cocky for his own good," Vega added.  
  
"So what does this have to do with me?"  
  
"We'd like it if you came with us," Soko requested.  
  
"Now?" They nodded. "But my mother, and my sisters!"  
  
"You have a destiny to fullfill, Syaoran."  
  
"Syaoran, did it ever occur to you that maybe going now will be easier for you in the long run?" Surprisingly, this insight came from my mother. I was sure she wouldn't want me to leave anymore.  
  
I sighed. "Mother-"  
  
"Did it, Syaoran?" she insisted.  
  
"No." I knew when I was beat. If I didn't answer, she'd bother me about it day and night.  
  
"As much as I don't want you to leave, it would be selfish of me to keep you here where there are others who need you, or will need you, rather, much more than I do."  
  
"Ummm..." where did she get that information? I knew my mother was shrewd, but the only reason I knew about that was because the Fates had let it slip, so how was it that my mother knew.  
  
"Mother."  
  
"Syaoran."  
  
I had lost the arguement. It wasn't even an argument. My mother would have won anyways. "Fine, fine, I'll go," I finally relented.  
  
"There are things you have to know first then, Syaoran," Vega said.  
  
"Like?" I had thought that all the Gods needed to do was listen to prayers, occasionally answer a few of them, and just sit around the rest of the time.  
  
"You're going to be the God of Marital Arts."  
  
"That's a silly title," I scoffed.  
  
"Well, you're stuck with it," Enti replied.  
  
  
  
See? I told you the God of Martial Arts wasn't made out of a sword.  
  
  
  
"You'll live with Kaho and Eriol," Soko said.  
  
"Don't forget Kaiba too," Enti added.  
  
"Except Kaiba will be going at the same time you are, so you two will be on the same level," Vega concluded.  
  
"All right then," I said haltingly. "I'll go."   
  
  
  
  
  
  
a/n: it's so wierd for me to be writing from a guy's pov. I have no clue what they think about...well...that'a lie...I have some clue what they think about, but I'm not sure how exactally they see everything, so if to any of you who are guys (and girls too if you can tell), Syaoran seems incredibly girly, tell me!!!  



	5. When the Realms became my home

  
**DISCLAIMER: I don't own any CCS characters, they belong to CLAMP.**  
  
  
  
a/n: *Fanfare* finally, the hopefully long awaited chapter 5! I was suffering from writers block and then ff.net said we couldn't update. There's good news though, during that week authors couldn't update, I cranked out three chapters, so unless my parents decide to be spontaneous and take us on a vacation, look for rather frequent updates...I'm thinking one a week...more if you and me are lucky. ^-^v I'm trying to make Syaoran sound less girly ^^...but I wouldn't be expecting sudden miracles...after all, I'm just a girl too   
  
  
  


**When the Realms became my home**

  
  
  
My sisters simple shed gallons and gallons of tears over my departure. My mother shed none. But that doesn't mean she wasn't hurting. I think that even though she didn't want me to leave, she knew that if I saw her cry, I would insist on staying. And I would have.  
  
  
  
  
I think my distaste for prolonged farewells stems from that point in my life. After you're said "good-bye" and "I'll miss you" once, isn't that enough?  
  
  
  
  
The journey to the Realms of the Gods wasn't a journey. It was like disappearing and reappearing instantaneously; I had barely lost sight of my mother when I saw Kaho. The quick trip left me a little nauseated, and the change in scenery didn't really sink in for a few hours.  
  
"Hello Syaoran. Remember me?" Kaho greeted. "This is Eriol," she said pulling forward a smiling, dark-haired man, her husband.  
  
"Of course I remember you," I shook both their hands.  
  
"I guess you'll be staying with us for a while," Eriol smiled some more, "there's another boy we're helping adjust too, but he's not here yet. So we can all be friends right?" He didn't stop smiling. On any other person, that smile would have been scary, irritating, and screaming "lock-me-up-in-a-mental-hospital", but on Eriol, it looked good, comforting, rather.  
  
Kaiba didn't come until the next day. He was a little boy of sixteen. I could tell he still had a lot of growing to do as he was in his awkward stage. I think he broke more dishes his first day there than I've broken in my life, and I'm an absolute klutz with kitchenware. He had light brown hair and golden-red eyes, that reminded me of Meiling. His determination also reminded me of her. I took to Kaiba immediately partially because he reminded me so much of my lost best friend and partially because I genuinely liked him.  
  
Kaiba didn't really talk very much in the beginning; he was painfully shy, but he eventually grew at ease. Our lives were such as they were in the mortal realms until one day we discovered magic. Kaiba and I were out hunting one day. "I'm so hungry," he said.  
  
"Me too," I agreed, because we had been out all day.  
  
Kaiba turned around in his saddle and looked at me. "What?" he asked, confused.  
  
"What?" I was confused about what he was confused about.  
  
"Why did you just say 'me too'?"  
  
"Didn't you just say you were hungry?"  
  
He gave me a funny look. "No, but I was thinking about being hungry."  
  
I couldn't believe what was happening. "Are you sure it didn't just slip out?"  
  
"You'd think I'd know when I open my mouth to talk," he said sarcastically.  
  
We stopped side-by-side. "I think we should go back and ask Kaho and Eriol," I thought.  
  
"I do too," Kaiba said. "Wait a second. You didn't actually say anything did you? That...that was all in..._in my head_?" he ended on a questioning note.  
  
I nodded and the two of us rode home. "Eriol," I asked, out of breath, "what's with this telepathy thing?"  
  
His eyes flashed with something I couldn't name and he answered, "It has to do with your magic."  
  
"Magic?" Kaiba choked out.  
  
"Yeah. All gods have magic," he replied, surprised that we didn't know that.  
  
"What's going on Eriol?" Kaho asked looking from her husband to the two of us.  
  
"Nothing much, their magic just manifested. At the same time too. We're lucky. This'll be easier than teaching two of you two different things at the same time."  
  
We must have had blank looks on our faces. "You have to learn to control you're magic, or else bad things can happen," Kaho explained.  
  
"So, now beings thy _real_ education," Eriol finished.  
  
"What?" Kaiba asked in a perfectly flat tone of voice. He never had patience when people started even being remotely theatrical.  
  
"He means to say that now the two of you actually are going to learn what it takes to be a god. It's not all fun and games," Kaho elaborated.   
Gods can do just about anything they want with their magic, as we soon learned. We started out with deceptively easy concepts like auras. Everyone has a different color; mine is green; Kaiba's is red; Kaho's is purple; Eriol's it blue. Much of it involves a lot of control. You have to be extremely careful how much magic you release or else you might hurt someone by accident. Kaiba was always more reckless than I was, something that caused Kaho a lot of grief, since a lot of her furniture got destroyed when Kaiba and I practiced.  
  
The last piece of magic we learned from Kaho and Eriol was teleportation. Teleportation is a vital part of being a god because with out it, no god can properly serve his or her people. It wasn't until then that I had a chance to actually think about my family. After I had mastered teleportation, I was let loose; I could go where ever I pleased, and it pleased me to go back to visit my family.  
  
Everything was still the same. The smell of the air, the feel of the dirt, the buildings; time stood still for my village. At least, that's what I thought.  
  
I came upon my house. It still looked as beautiful as it did when I lived here. I 'ported myself into my old room and found myself surrounded by flowers. Either one of my sisters moved in, or my mother had turned my room into a shrine. I walked the halls of the house, calling out the names of my sisters and my mother. No one answered. A swarm of little girls ran into me though. They stared up at me in fear, not knowing who I was. I didn't know who they were either. I couldn't have been away for that long, could i have?  
  
"Girls, girls, you'll disturb your grandmother!" An older woman's voice reprimanded. Then she saw me. "Who are you? How did you get in here?"  
  
"I used to live here. Who are you?"  
  
Her hands flew to her mouth. "You're a ghost!" and she turned to run away, followed by the little girls, when she ran into an old lady.  
  
"What's the matter, my dear?" she asked the younger woman. All the younger woman could to was stutter and point. The old woman's gaze followed the pointing finger and landed on me. Her eyes narrowed and then filled with tears. "S...Syao...syaoran...is it you? Syaoran it it you?" she asked, not believing.  
  
It was my turn to scrutinize. It took me a moment to realize that this was my sister, Fan-ren. I had been gone for a long time.  
  
"Fan....ren?"  
  
"It's been a long time," she said matter-of-factly as she gracefully walked towards me. She had clearly changed since the last time I had seen her too many years ago.  
  
"How long has it been?"  
  
"Almost fifty years," she looked up and touched my face, proving to herself that it was really me. "Fifty years is a long time."  
  
All that time, I stood, petrified, glued to my spot on the ground. It didn't feel like fifty years. Had time really gone by so fast while I was in the Realms? The number of years didn't really register until I looked at my sister again. Over fifty years, I had not seen this sweet, sweet face. "Fifty years is too long, Fan-ren," I hugged her tightly and she hugged me back.  
  
"Come, come, Syaoran," she whispered, her voice choked with tears. "There's so much to talk about." She led me to the living room, completely ignoring the children and woman, and sat me down. "I can't believe you're back."  
  
"Neither can I. Where're the others?"  
  
Fan-ren smiled sadly. "I'm the last one here. They all died except for Seifa. She's in another village. I still hear from her from time to time, but we all have our own lives now....don't we little brother? Those children who ran into you were my grandchildren. All of them know stories about you." She let out a dry laugh, "Right after you left, mother went to Ved, the story teller, remember? And she told him to tell about you because you were a god. Ved didn't believe her at first, but your friends, the Fates, came and told him to tell the story or else, so he did. Everyone in the village knows your story."  
  
"Your grandchildren?"  
  
She nodded. "So, tell me. Did you ever find that girl you were looking for?" she asked, her old sparkle and vigor reviving.  
  
"No. Not yet. Maybe I should stop. If the dream really was true, we'll probably meet sometime in the future anyway, but the habit of looking at people's eyes. I think that's something that'll stay with me forever."  
  
Fan-ren nodded sagely. "Tell me about your life with the Gods," she prompted.  
  
"Well....everyone there's very nice," I struggled for a little while. "What do you want to know?"  
  
"Who are you living with, or do you have a place of your own?"  
  
"I'm living with Eriol and Kaho. But now that you mention it, a place of my own sounds nice. Oh, and I'm living with Kaiba too. I think you know Eriol and Kaho, but Kaiba is a new God, like me."  
  
"No, I know about all of you. The Fates also told Ved to tell about Kaiba. Tell me about the wheather there."  
  
"Well, it's a lot like the wheather here. In the winter, there's snow, and in the summer there's sun, in the spring there're flowers and in the fall there're leaves."  
  
"So you had no trouble adjusting?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Mother would be so glad to know that. She always worried that you wouldn't fit in, or that you wouldn't be used to any of the things the Gods did."  
  
Neither of us spoke for a while. "I wish I could have been here when mother...when she left."  
  
"Don't dwell on it," she said, patting my hand. "It's not healthy. Why is it that you're here anyway?" She asked, suddenly alive again.  
  
"Umm. I just learned how to teleport and I was allowed to visit anywhere I wanted to for a few hours."  
  
"I see."  
  
We sat together for a moment. I wasn't sure what to say. I really had no idea that so much time had passed since I left. I had no idea.  
  
"So...um...You got married? To who?"  
  
"I married one of the villagers, Roald. Mother never really approved, but she ended up liking him. I married him just a few years after you left. We had four kids. I wanted more. You know me, I always liked kids, but that last one almost killed me, so I stopped."  
  
"So who was that woman in the hallway?"  
  
"That was one of the maids. None of my children are actually here right now. They're all out. My oldest two are married and they stayed here. My other two aren't."  
  
"Girls? Boys?"  
  
"Three boys and a girl."  
  
"Almost opposite of us," I laughed. "Is your girl your youngest or your oldest?"  
  
"Second to last, actually." Fan-ren chuckled, "Her older brothers act like they don't care about her, but they really do. They've managed to get her out of a lot of scrapes."  
  
"I'll bet." Silence again. "I don't think....maybe....Maybe I shouldn't have visited," I mused.  
  
"Why do you think you shouldn't have visited?" Fan-ren asked.  
  
"Did I say that out loud?" She nodded. "Well, because this visit maked me not want to leave again." And it maked me sad, I added to myself.  
  
"Well, you survived over fifty years without seeing us, I'm sure you can buck up and do it again."  
  
"It didn't feel like fifty years," I grumbled.  
  
"I know. I just woke up one morning and discovered I was old."  
  
"Did you? I don't even look in the mirror very often anymore."  
  
"You don't have to. You're always going to look the same, little brother." She sighed. "If leaving is going to be so hard for you, maybe you should go sooner than later."  
  
"Maybe...." I hugged me sister tightly. "I'll miss you so much, Fan-ren"  
  
"I will too, I will too," she sniffled. "You know I love you. I always will."  
  
"I love you too."  
  
"Are you going to go now?"  
  
"Is it best if I do?"  
  
She shrugged and looked away. "Do what will help you, little brother."  
  
As much as I didn't want to leave, the longer I stayed, the harder it would be for me to leave. So, I summoned all my power, kissed my sister good-bye one last time, and disappeared from my old world forever. Never again, did I refer to the Mortal realms as "home". The Realms of the Gods was home now.  
  
  
  
  
  
a/n: Did making him leave his sister like that seem harsh? I crave reviews!! so press da button and review! 


	6. Finally *soft music in the background*

  
**DISCLAIMER: I don't own any CCS characters, they belong to CLAMP.**  
  
  
  
a/n: Sorry for the long wait. I just got back from a vacation. I have a few more chapters written...I just have to find time to post them. this is probably the only story I'm going to be updating today. If you're following my other story in progess, look for a chapter sometime this weekend, assuming I can get out of bed...^^;; Things are finally going to get interesting! don't forget to review. That long blue button at the end of the page is screaming to be pushed. ;p  
  
**LightBlossom** - Syaoran was really there for 50 earth years. Just to be simple, time passes the same way it does on earth...or else, I'd have a royal headach and I would have given up on this a long time ago ^^  
  
  
  
  


**Finally**

  
  
  
From my trip to the mortal realms, I learned an invaluable lesson all mortal-Gods learn at one point or another: forming connections with mortals is a dangerous thing. When they go, it's like getting your heart torn out.  
  
My sisters and my mother had all gone. Before my trip, I never felt really lonely, because my thoughts could drift to them and remember them, but after, when I saw that they were old and dying, I felt more alone than ever.  
  
I could not, however, linger on self pity, so busied myself with building a house for myself. I only sort of chose the location. I went from place to place, looking for a local that would suit my taste. For the longest time, thought, I neglected to look close to home. My house ended up being built right next to Kaho and Eriol's. I can't explain the feeling when I knew I had found the right spot. It just felt right.  
  
My own house was a replica of the house I lived in in my prior life. However, all my attempts at a garden failed and soon I simply left the grass lot in front of my house as a grass lot over grown with monstrous weeds.  
  
Kaiba too, moved away, but he choose a place farther away. The years passed in a stately march. The four of us would get together often, but mostly, we just minded ourselves.  
  
My dream came back too. I don't know how many years after I moved into my own house, but it didn't feel like very long. The dream this time, was in a different setting than all those other times before. It was more vivid and I could hear her voice. Her voice was so sweet and simple. I loved how her expression grew happy just at the sight of me...  
  
"Syaoran, Syaoran..."  
  
I sighed. Still absorbed in recounting every single moment of every dream about the green-eyed girl in the past month. In the distance, I could hear a masculine voice shouting out my name, but I shooed the sound out of my head.  
  
"Syaoran. _Syaoran_!!!"  
  
I jumped in my seat, and looked up at Eriol. "What?" I demanded, slightly irritated that he had inturrupted my daydreaming.  
  
"Lost in your own little world again?" he asked, amused.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Oh, come on, for the last month, everytime I try to talk to you, you're off in la-la land, dreaming of goodness knows what."  
  
"Huh?" I couldn't believe I had been so obvious.  
  
"Never mind, never mind. There's a new goddess. You should meet her. We think you could help, after all, you _did_ grow up with four sisters," he said urgently.  
  
"You want me to go help her?" I repeated.  
  
"Yes, will you?"  
  
I shrugged, "Sure."  
  
For the past week, there had been a slight tension in the air. I sensed a pink aura briefly one night, but I dismissed it as a dream. The week before and the week after, when ever I saw Kaho or Eriol, they both seemed to be rather preoccupied, with what, though, I could not tell. When I agreed, a huge weight seemed to be lifted on Eriol's shoulders and put on mine; the tension around Eriol was gone.  
  
In their living room, sitting in front of a small fire was a girl. She was sitting in a huge arm chair that seemed to swallow her. She had golden-brown hair that was reddish with the light of the fire and her head was bent over her chest, as if she were sleeping. I walked over to her chair and knelt down. "Hello, who's this?" I asked politely.  
  
"Her name's Sakura, Syaoran," Kaho called out from the next room.  
  
"Why didn't any body tell me earlier?" I yelled back. I knelt in front of her seat, so I would be eye level with her if she raised her head.  
  
"What do you want? Syaoran," she asked hesitantly.  
  
"I just wanted to meet you. I hoped we could be friends?"  
  
"Suit yourself," she shrugged.  
  
I wracked my brains looking for ways to get her to open up. "Where do you come from?" I asked.  
  
"The mortal realms."  
  
"So did I."  
  
"You did?" She looked up slowly and I saw that her eyes were the most brilliant green I had ever seen; I nearly swallowed my tongue.  
  
"Yes I did. I had four sisters," I said. "And you're exactally-"  
  
"Did you say something?" she asked. I had thought out loud. There was a habit I needed to get rid of.  
  
"No, no, I didn't say anything."   
"I was an only child." Yes, and her voice was the same too! I was having a hard time containing my excitement.  
  
"You'll like it here." I wanted her to talk more. I wanted her to smile. She looked so sad sitting there, looking into the fire.  
  
"Will I? How can I be what I'm supposed to be?"  
  
"What? A Goddess?"  
  
She looked straight at me and said with a forced steadiness. "I'm the Goddess of Love," she said proudly and sarcastically at the same time.  
  
"How fitting," I murmured.  
  
"Did you say something?" she asked again.  
  
I had thought out loud again. Stupid. "No, I didn't say anything. Well, if you need anyone to talk to, you can come to me. I live in that other house outside. It's the only other house you can see." I got up and turned around to see Eriol and Kaho staring at us.  
  
I could feel my face burn up as I briskly walked over to where they were. "WHAT?" I demanded.  
  
"Nothing," Eriol snickered.  
  
"Nothing at all," Kaho added.  
  
"What ever. TELL ME!"  
  
The couple was consumed by another outbreak of giggles. "It's just...it's just you looked...so...funny...talking to Sakura...." Kaho gasped.  
  
"O-k. I'm never talking to _you_ again."  
  
"No, really, Syaoran," Eriol started. "You looked as if you had died and gone to heavan, or something like that." He finished his sentence sounding rather strangled perhaps it was because of the death glare I was steadily sending in his direction.  
  
As I turned to walk home, Kaho asked, "Aren't you staying for dinner?" She didn't give me any time to answer before she started talking again. "You have to, because you're my best friend," she declared, dragging me away from the door.  
  
"Hey, I thought _I_ was your best friend," Eriol pretended to pout.  
  
"You are, but I can have more than one best friend can't I?" and she gave him one of her dazzling smiles she reserved just for her husband.  
  
Eriol laughed and left while Kaho, certain that I was far away from the front door, started cooking dinner. Even though she had servants who could probably have done everything for her, she still likes to do the little domestic chores herself. Many of the Gods I know do that. The servants just do what the Gods don't want to do. Kaho doesn't like doing the dishes, so a servant does them. I don't like doing laundery, so a servant does it. The whole system is pretty convenient actually.  
  
My life was...different after that. I couldn't eat much, I didn't sleep much, I didn't really pay attention to anything except for Sakura. I couldn't believe that I had meet the girl I had been searching for for so many years. My dreams stopped coming so often, because I would see her almost every day. She never came to find me. I would go over to Kaho and Eriol's place at least once a week for dinner, which was quite a bit more often than in the old days, but they said nothing about it.  
  
  
  
  
If they did, I probably would have tried in vain to ignore them.  
  
  
  
  
It was during that time though, that I discovered something about Sakura's personality that made me want to protect her, watch over her, even more: Sakura was incredibly dense. I'm very sorry for saying so, but it's true. According to Eriol and Kaho, my behavior changed and I practrically radiated love for her, at least, that's what they told me. There were dozens of times when I would blush in front of her. I never did that when I was talking to Kaho, but either she didn't notice, or she didn't connect my expressions with what she was the goddess of. Her dense-ness made her more cute though.  
  
For the first few months, Sakura always seemed sad and preoccupied. She had the same expression on her face as she did when we first met - a unique expression of sad and proud mixed together. Sometimes when she didn't notice, I would watch her. It hurt me to see her so unhappy, but what ever she was unhappy about was a mystery to me. Even after we became better friends, the cause of her sadness was a forbidden topic, but after the first few months, she pushed the sadness away from herself and started showing us her happier side.  
  
Sakura was always thinking of ways to cheer up everyone around her, even if she wasn't always happy. She seemed to get her strength from the three of us being happy.  
  
It was around this time, after Sakura had started cheering up, that I decided to tour the Mortal Realms. I got the feeling from Sakura that she didn't want to be loved the way I wanted to love her. Her magic was also beginning to manifest itself and I needed some time to learn how to control my feelings and thoughts around her; being the Goddess of Love, Sakura naturally would be more sensitive to these things. I didn't want to hurt her in any way, so it was best that I leave for a while.  
  
Besides, the mortals were developing new fighting techniques that I wanted to learn.  
  
Even then, if you had asked, I would not have been able to name all the places I went. I never was very good with geography. Most of what they were doing turned out to be variations and elaborations of older techniques I already new. There were, however, a few genuinely new styles. One involved fans, the other involved daggers.  
  
Although daggers had been around for centuries, for some reason, no one really developed any fighting techniques with them until then, so I took the opportunity to learn all I could. The method involving fans was pure, 100 percent genius. The type of fan used was built differently than normal fans. It was heavier and was more metal than wood. It also was bladed on the open end and was sharper than my sharpest sword.  
  
This "fan-fighting" was developed by one of the warrior tribes on some planet or other. Like I said, I never had a head for geography. The original intent was so that their women could protect themselves, but it had evolved. For women, there were more decoative fans and there were more masculine designs for men too. I brought a variety of these fans home with me.  
  
During the time I spent in the Mortal Realm, I worked hard to control my own thoughts. I had to bury myself in my work to suppress my feelings. I taught myself how to shield my surface thoughts - the thoughts that you are currently thinking are surface thoughts; any God can pick them up - and to control my emotions to a certain degree. All that remained, was the test of going home and seeing Sakura again.  
  
I was gone for almost twenty years, a short period of time for a god, traveling from world to world, country to country, picking up fighting arts and leaving signs that the God of Martial Arts had visited. Actually, twenty years was surprisingly fast. Most mortals needed to apprentice themselves to a martial arts master from early in their childhood to when they were about twenty five or so. Motivated by my desire to see Sakura again, I learned fast. In those twenty years, home hadn't really changed; my house was still the same, my "garden" was still a jumble of weeds, I still lived next to Kaho and Eriol. Yep, my world hadn't changed much.  
  
It felt good to be home. I had 'ported my sparse luggage into my rooms and was about to go inside when the urge came over me to go visit Kaho and Eriol, to see what had happened since I had left.  
  
They never left their door locked so I simply waltzed in like the vagabond I'd practiced being for the last twenty years. "I'm back! What's been going one here?"  
  
Eriol's head poked out from his study off the main hall. "So you are back! Did you learn anything worth sharing?" he queried. Eriol had always been interested in my area of governance.  
  
"Yeah. I think. Where're Kaho and Sakura?"  
  
"Oh, Sakura moved out a few years back. Kaho went to visit today. But I'm sure she'd be absolutely insulted if you didn't stay for dinner at least," he grinned slyly, "why don't I ask her to bring Sakura over too?" Before I could stop him, he already contacted Kaho and Sakura. I took a deep breath. As much as I dreaded seeing Sakura again, I still wanted to see her. Besides, this was my chance to see if anything I had forced myself to learn worked. Hopefully, it would.  
  
"Hello? Syaoran. Are you in there?" I snapped back to reality, realizing that Eriol was trying to get my attention.  
  
"Huh? Sorry, I guess my mind was wandering for a while."  
  
"I noticed," he said wryly, "Kaiba's coming too."  
  
"Fine, fine." I should have noted the look on his face when he said that; had I noticed Eriol's expression, I could have averted what was to come.   
  
  
  
  
  
a/n: Well? What did you think? rather a turning point chapter don't you think? If you read my other story and you _think_ you know what's going to happen next, you're right and you're wrong...remember, this is from Syaoran's pov so it'll be different! ^-^ **So you'd better review! or else....mwahahahahahahahaha!** j/k   
  
p.s. Go read my other story....keys of light and dark...I really want to know what people think of that one (even if you think it's crap)....speaking of which, I should probably get the next chapter up soon.   
  



	7. Hitas and Sakura

  
**DISCLAIMER: I don't own any CCS characters, they belong to CLAMP.**  
  
  
  
a/n: You'll have to excuse me today, I have a lot of random things I feel the need to share. Aren't I on a roll? Anyone here remember back in febuary when I actually had the time to update one or twice a week? If only I had that kind of time still. Oh, I wanted to share with you all the reason I didn't update for so long previously - 1) I was on vacation and 2) my favorite place to be online (clowsage) went down right before I went on vacation. *sniff* Well, I found myself a new online home, but that doesn't really mean I have time. arrrgggghhhh.   
  
I just realized that the last chapter ended with kind of a cliff hanger...Darn. I missed a chance to "play ominous music". hehe.  
  
**Lian Leviathan** - I have a feeling you think that Syaoran's not going to get Sakura....tell me if I'm right.   
**Lilyflower** - As for you question about Tomoyo....She's not going to be in this story, except for maybe a sentence or two...she's more involved in Sakura's story though, the story that goes along with this one...gomen ne.   
  
  
  
  


**Hitas and Sakura**

  
  
  
Looking back, I realize that there were many things I _should_ have noticed that I didn't, and for the longest time, I would feel guilty about my negligence. Even though everything's fine now, and everything that happened needed to happen in order for Sakura to be free of her past, sometimes, I still feel like I wronged Sakura by not noticing. But now I'm getting ahead of myself.  
  
"Syaoran! You're darker!" Kaiba greeted as he walked into Eriol and Kaho's house eagerly looking around.  
  
"Am I?"  
  
"Yeah, are they here?"  
  
"Who? Kaho and Sakura?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"No."  
  
"I'm early then?"  
  
"I really don't think it matters," I laughed.  
  
"So where did you go?"  
  
"I really can't remember all the names."  
  
"Knowing you, Syaoran," Eriol cut in, "You probably were too busy thinking of other things to pay attention to geography."  
  
"I did want to come back as soon as possible," I admitted.  
  
I had a feeling I knew where this conversation was going. Thankfully, Kaho and Sakura had excellent timing.  
  
"Syaoran!" Sakura squeeled and threw arms around my neck. "I missed you!"  
  
I felt my face heating up and looked around. Eriol had ducked into the living room and was probably laughing. Kaho was smiling indulgantly and Kaiba, Kaiba...a possessive look flashed through his eyes, but I didn't connect it to anything.  
  
"It's good to have you back," Kaho said.  
  
"It's good to _be_ back," I returned.  
  
"Tell me," her eyes grew thoughtful. "How do you know Hitas?"  
  
"Hitas? Goddess of Health?" That day after Meiling died flashed through my mind. "I've only meet her once, but I was...not in a state of mind that would allow me to remember very clearly."  
  
"Yes, she said something about you being in grieving when the two of you meet."  
  
I nodded, wondering where the heck _this_ conversation was leading. But Kaho wouldn't say anything else except _I'll tell you later_ in my mind.  
  
So I went through dinner wondering what could Hitas want with me. Dinner itself was uneventful. I was too absorbed in Sakura to really pay attention to anything else. I don't think she or Kaiba noticed though.  
  
I was about to leave later that night when Kaho stopped me. "I was going to tell Hitas to forget about this, but..."  
  
"But what?"  
  
A crooked smile appeared on her face. "She likes you...like as in like _like_."  
  
"Oh...kay..." I said, rather shocked.  
  
"Well? What are you going to do?"  
  
"Um...what...what I am supposed to do?" I asked slowly. My mind wasn't functioning that day. I wasn't really tired from my trip, but I was trying to keep from focusing too much on Sakura...needless to say, it wasn't working.  
  
"You aren't thinking very hard today are you Syaoran?"  
  
"Umm...what am I supposed to be thinking?"  
  
"Hello! You are obviously in love with Sakura-" I cut her off, shushing her. "You're obviously in love with her, what are you going to do about Hitas?" she continued.  
  
I looked around furtively, hopefully, no one heard what Kaho had practically yelled out loud. "Um...leave her alone?"  
  
"You aren't supposed to leave her alone!"  
  
"Well then you tell me what the heck I'm supposed to be doing about this, you're the Goddess of Wisdom," I demanded, exasperated.  
  
"I'd tell her you're not interested, but only when she approaches you-"  
  
I cut her off again. "Kaho, why didn't you just tell her I wasn't interested?"  
  
"Because she wouldn't have believed me and because this is _your_ problem!"  
  
_"My problem?!?"_  
  
"Yes your problem, how many times do I need to clarify that point?"  
  
"I guess I have to deal with it then," I said reluctantly.  
  
"Yes, you have to deal with it."  
  
I sighed. "Why do I feel like this is going to be harder than anything I've ever done in my life?"  
  
"Because you're a nice guy and you hate hurting a woman's feelings," she said sincerely.  
  
"It was a rhetorical question, Kaho," I mumbled. Kaho laughed and ushered me out the door.  
  
It wasn't until the next day that I realized how serious Kaho was. What happened next, scared all thoughts of Sakura out of my mind. Actually, it wasn't so much what happened, it was the tone of what was said that was so disturbing to me.  
  
"Sir, someone to see you," one of the servants said while I was showing Eriol something new I learned during my trip.  
  
"Show him in here."  
  
"It's a she, sir, and she followed me here."  
  
I stopped; Hitas strolled in; Eriol stopped to see what I would do. _Oh shoot. I have no clue how to tell her off, Eriol,_ I said mentally.  
  
_Best of luck to you my friend,_ he shot back as he siddled towards the door.  
  
_Oh, no you don't. You're my moral support, stupid! You can't leave me stranded!_  
  
_Then what are you going to do if you ever end up telling Sakura about your feelings??_ he "yelled" back. Thankfully though, he stopped where he was.  
  
"Hitas," I acknowledged.  
  
"Syaoran," she nodded, "Eriol.  
  
I was paralyzed with fear. What the heck was I supposed to be doing? I really didn't want attention from her, but I didn't want to hurt her feelings. Thankfully, she spoke first. "I just wanted to welcome you home, Syaoran," she mumbled. She ran out of the room before I could respond.  
  
  
  
  
Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I had given Hitas a chance and possibly learned to love her. I do wonder.  
  
  
  
  
Before I go on, I have to explain about Hitas. Hitas was a gorgeous woman who had rejected all her suitors, saying that she would find her own man. There are scores of Gods who trembled in her presence, even now, even though she's found her guy, plenty of Gods still go after her, unfortunate for her husband, but I'm getting ahead of myself. I didn't particularly want her attention. Granted she was extremely beautiful and she was a good deal more observant than Sakura, I still preferred Sakura. Call it predestined love if you will.  
  
I started thinking about trying my hand at a garden again, but I couldn't muster enough energy to get started. Everytime I'd go outside and look around, wondering where to start. I had various visions for this imaginary garden of mine, none of them came true because everytime I'd also walk back inside, too lazy to think about it anymore. It was during one of my "standing-in-front-of-my-house-wondering-what-to-do" sessions that Sakura came up to me and startled me. "Syaoran," she called out, drawing me from my reverie. I looked up at the sound of the familiar voice. "Syaoran!" she laughed again.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I think you need to do something about this," she gestured at our surroundings.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Can I do something about it for you?" shd inquired.  
  
"Yeah." Boy was I talkative or what? I couldn't bring myself to say anything except for "yeah". I must have sounded so dim!  
  
"Ok," she laughed and shooed me inside, saying, "don't come out until I tell you. Promise."  
  
"Promise," I repeated.  
  
"Pinkey swear pomise," she said sticking out her pinkey and hooking it with mine.  
  
"Ok," I said, blushing.  
  
She smiled sweetly and the closed the door. It seemed to take forever. Several times I was sorely tempted to walk outside and demand what was happening. I could hear the ground creak underneath my house and sometimes there would be small tremors, but I stayed inside like I promised I would, hoping she wasn't destroying my house. I can't say I trusted her as much as I loved her.  
  
When she came inside to call me again, I noticed her excitement. "You'll love it," she kept telling me. And I did. The weed covered lot that used to surround my house was now turned into a grassy plain. On either side was a large study tree with plenty of good branches that you could climb up onto. A few evergreens grew in the back yard. There was a small pond, filled with little fish. The pathways around the house were lined with flowers and various shrubbery.  
  
When she was done showing me everything, she went to the side of the house and started climbing one of the trees. "Sakura, be careful!" I yelled, but she didn't hear. I tried again and this time she just laughed.  
  
"Don't worry, I've been climbing trees since before I can remember!" she said gleefully while perched on one of the branches of the tree. "Come up here! It's cooler."  
  
I scrambled up the tree after her, and she made room for me on the branch she was sitting on. The flowers on the tree were curiously shaped and smelled heavenly. "What kind of tree is it?" I asked.  
  
"A cherry tree. My mother named me after these flowers," she replied, picking a bunch from the tree and smelling it. So, now I could look out the window and have a little bit of Sakura in my yard 365 days a year.  
  
She kept talking, but her voice was more distant now. "When I was little...there was a festival in the village every spring for these flowers. We'd all go and pick the cherries...and we'd make all sorts of foods with them. The little kids would run around filling the baskets and the men would be in the trees picking the cherries while the women would pitt them and preserve them, and what not," she looked at me. "When these the cherries are ready, I'll come and make something for you." I must have turned red because I could feel my face heating up.  
  
"Anyway. Don't they smell wonderful?" she asked, decorating her hair with the alluring flowers.   
I couldn't even will words to come out of my mouth, so I nodded instead. Up to this point, all of her movements were graceful and spontaneous. And then, all of a sudden, she seemed to remember something and her movements were stiffer and she turned to me hesitantly. "Syaoran...syaoran. Will...will you teach me self defense?"  
  
I was shocked. Why would someone as sweet as Sakura want to learn self defense for? "Sakura. What for? Are you sure you want to learn self defense?"  
  
"Positive," she replied, ignoring my first question.  
  
"Well...All right then," I said, "but I can't for the life of me understand why you would need it," she heard me mumble.  
  
Sakura smiled at me again and kissed my cheek. "Thank you." She climbed off the tree saying, "I'll be back tomorrow then ok?"  
  
From my perch in the tree, I watched her walk off and then dissappear in her pink fire. I couldn't have imagined how important my agreeing to teach her would be in the future.  
  
  
  
  
  
a/n: Well what did you think? What do you think of Hitas? Don't you just love it when authors add twists in the story? This is going to be fun....bwahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!! review!!  
  
  
  
p.s. I suppose this is kind of a cliff hanger, depends on whether or not you've read the other story. I happen to think that this story is more fun if you haven't read the other one though.....DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
p.s.s - Everytime somebody says "shrubbery," I think of monty python and the holy grail and the knights of ni!   
  



	8. Mi casa es su casa

  
**DISCLAIMER: I don't own any CCS characters, they belong to CLAMP.**  
  
  
  
**Very important author's note!!** Um...If you asked to be on my mailing list and you haven't been getting notices, could you please tell me? You might be one of the people who I can't get e-mails to. I know **petitegirl**, you're one of them...if you read this, e-mail me or leave a review or something...I don't know if it's a problem with your e-mail provider or what, but I'm pretty sure I have the right e-mail. I think **Tomoyo-chan** I generally can get e-mails to you, except for lately...so if you could e-mail me or leave a review too. I can't remember anyone else off the top of my head. I just wanted to let you know that I wasn't forgetting. Oh, and if you want to be added to my update list, leave your e-mail in a review or in an e-mail to me ok? ok! now, on with the fic!   
  
  
  
  


**Mi casa es su casa**

  
  
  
Five years passed. They were five uneventful years for me, with one exception that is worth mentioning. My situation regarding Hitas was resolved. I actually played with the idea of welcoming her into my life as a lover, but everytime I saw her, I compared her to Sakura. I supposed to someone who wasn't madly in love with Sakura, Hitas was the more beautiful, but I was madly in love with Sakura, and Hitas just couldn't measure up to her.  
  
She came to me for a while and then she told me about her feelings. I wonder if she knew she was going to be rejected, because the day she came, she was quite subdued. Our conversation was the stereotypical rejection conversation. I couldn't explain to her exactally why I didn't love her, but she seemed to understand. At least we were still friends after the whole ordeal.  
  
Those five years though, they must have been something else for Sakura. I tried to teach her everything about martial arts, and she did well in everything I taught her. She ended up focusing on hand-to-hand combat and the odd fan-fighting technique I learned on my trip to the mortal worlds. Some days though, she wouldn't show up, but she would come the next day, apologize, and stay for an extra long time. Everytime she did that, she always looked so angry at something.  
  
In the beginning, I saw her smile all the time, but towards the end, she would be coming only every few days, looking grimer each time. I tried to coax her to tell me what was going on, but she firmly told me that she was perfectly fine and then she would apologize. I never understood what went through her mind when she was apologizing because she would say sorry for the most unusual things, namely being a burden. I always told her that she was welcome in my house any time.  
  
She took my word to heart. One day, she showed up at my door in tears, with her trunk. I was tempted to stop her where she was demand an explination, but I didn't. I motioned for a servant to take her trunk to a spare room and then sat Sakura down in my living room. "Ok, now you have to tell me what's going on."  
  
She nodded. "I probably should have told you a while ago, but I didn't want to worry anyone, least of all you." She stopped trying to think where to start. "Syaoran, don't tell anyone what I'm going to tell you and you have to promise not to get angry at anyone ok?"  
  
"Well...I can promise the first one, but not the second one." The "least of all you" part of her first sentence was still stuck in my head. If I hadn't been focused on why she was so angry, I probably would have sat their thinking that phrase over and over again, rolling it on my tongue like candy.  
  
"I rather thought that's what you might say." She always did have an uncanny way of knowing how we would react to what she said. "I wish we could all be friends again," she sighed.  
  
I blinked. What was she talking about? I thought we were all friends already. "What do you mean?" I asked.  
  
She struggled with her words for a few minutes before she blurted out, "I don't want to be loved the way Kaiba loves me...at least...not...yet." The end of her sentence came so quietly I almost didn't hear her. What had Kaiba done to our Sakura? I hadn't seen her so unhappy since she first came to us.  
  
"What...what has he done to you?" I asked, my voice was low and threatening. "He didn't...he didn't force you to do anything or hurt you did he?"  
  
"No, no...he wouldn't do any thing like that to a fellow god."  
  
"Then what did he do?"  
  
"He tried to hurt me. He said he loved me, and I didn't want him to love me. I just wanted to be friends with him....that's why I wanted you to teach me to fight," she finished quietly.  
  
I got up and started pacing back and forth, cursing under my breath. "Don't do anything rash, Syaoran," she reminded me, her voice trembling. I thought back to all the times the five of us had gotten together and the looks he gave her. "Syaoran?" I heard her call to me. "Don't...don't do anything-"  
  
"How can I not do anything? He's scared you..." she seemed taken back by the tone of my voice. "How? Tell me, what am I supposed to do? Just sit around and let Kaiba do this?"  
  
Sakura straightened up. "Precisely."  
  
I looked at her skeptically. I couldn't just stand around and let my love me hurt like that. That was wrong, that was wrong. "Syaoran, I know you're thinking of doing something to Kaiba. Don't."  
  
"How did you know?"  
  
"Please, you were practically screaming the thought," she said, smiling. It was the first time I had seen her smile in a long, long time.  
  
"You know, Sakura," I said sitting down next to her. "I can promise I won't do anything to Kaiba now, but if he ever hurts you, I swear, I'll-"  
  
"No," she said firmly, "this is my issue. I'll take care of it. I...I just need somewhere to stay when he gets to be too much. Sanctuary if you will."  
  
"Of course," I replied. "I'll set aside part of my house just for you. Ok?"  
  
"Just some rooms would be fine."  
  
She smiled again and leaned over to hug me. "I love you so much for being here for me."  
  
My heart nearly stopped when I heard those first three words come out of her mouth, but then I realized that she only loved me as the friend who would always be there for her. How I wished that there was a deeper significance to her words. But I knew there wasn't. I vowed then, that I would always be good to her, that I would always be there for her, and care for her, even if she wouldn't love me the way I loved her. Then maybe one day, she'd accept the love of others for her, and I could tell her I loved her too, but for now, I would have to content myself with caring for her and loving her secretly.  
  
She stayed at my place for a few days before she went home. But she came back about two months later. This time, she brought some more clothes with her, and left them here. Each time she stayed, she would bring a few more things. Some times, months would pass between her visits, and sometimes, just a few weeks. One time she didn't come for a half a year and I started to think that maybe Kaiba was leaving her alone now, but she was back a few weeks later. I wanted her to feel like my home was her home, so I gave her the key to my house, and told the servants to mind Sakura as the would me.  
  
Eriol and Kaho also found out, but Sakura made them swear not to tell Kaiba anything and to leave this for her to deal with. Kaho was sorely tempted, as I was, to go hurt Kaiba for hurting Sakura, but Eriol and Sakura restrained her. Kaho can be rather enthusiastic sometimes. Those two had actually suspected that Kaiba was being forceful with Sakura though, but didn't say anything about it until Sakura actually brought it up. They're so smart sometimes.  
  
One morning a few year down the road, I woke up, and I found her sleeping on the couch in my living room. She must have come in the middle of the night, and I was up fairly early, so I decided not to disturb her, but I couldn't help but go and see her face. She looked like such and angel sleeping on the couch. The skin around her eyes looked a little red. One of her hands was clenched into a fist near her head and the other was wrapped around her waist. I saw my hand reach out and touch her cheek. In the back of my mind, a little voice screamed, "What are you doing Syaoran!" but I didn't listen to it. I moved her hair away from her face, and then her eyes opened.  
  
I must have turned about a dozen shades of red. She smiled at me. "You're like the older brother I never had, Syaoran," she whispered, her voice still hoarse with sleep. _But Sakura, do you know what I want to be much more than an older brother to you?_ I thought to myself.  
  
"You let yourself in last night. And you must have come in the middle of the night, literally. I'm sorry to have woken you up."  
  
"No matter," she said, swinging her legs over the side of the couch. "I did come rather late. I'm sorry."  
  
"Don't be. I've told you to think of my house as your own," I said getting up from where I was kneeling and making my way to the kitchen. "Hungry?"  
  
"Famished," she replied, "But I'm going to go take a bath first though. I'll be down in an hour or so ok?"  
  
She came down an hour later, her hair still damp, but in a different set of clothes, and ate breakfast. There was a harsh knock on the door. A harrassed looking servant came in a few minutes later, followed by a fuming Kaiba. He was about to say something to me when he saw Sakura at my table. "There you are," he said silkily, "I was looking all over for you, my dear."  
  
"I'm not your dear," she replied curtly.  
  
"Why are you staying with Syaoran?" he asked suspiciously.  
  
"Why not?" she said indignantly.  
  
"Are you questioning my honor?" I demanded.  
  
"No, no," he quickly mended, catching his mistake in time. "I was merely curious as to why she ran away last night."  
  
"Did it every occur to you that I need a break from you?" Sakura asked as if she were speaking to a small child.  
  
"From _me_?" he looked from her to me. "Why would anyone need a break from me?" he seemed to ask me.  
  
Sakura just sighed impatiently and rolled her eyes. "Could you please just leave me alone, Kaiba? I'm sick of having to get rid of you every where I go."  
  
"I don't understand-"  
  
Sakura cut him off. "You needn't play innocent," she said bitterly, a tone I had never heard in her voice before. "Syaoran knows about our little....situation." It was rather embarassing to listen to this conversation. I felt awful for Sakura, but she was a lot stronger that she appeared.  
  
I wanted to say something for Sakura, but I knew she wanted me to stay out of this conversation. "Well then," Kaiba said, "I'll be waiting for you when you return then."  
  
"I'd prefer it if you just left me alone."  
  
"What if I don't want to? You know what I want."  
  
She slammed her fist down on the table and stood up. "Get out of here," she said, her voice was threatening, and kind of scary. I made a metal note never to get Sakura angry at me the way she was angry at Kaiba. "Get out."  
  
He slowly moved towards her. "You can't kick me out of this house, this isn't your house," and then he moved as if to strike her. I saw Sakura shift slightly so into a combat position, but she didn't need it.  
  
"My house, my rules," I said to Kaiba, grabbing his shoulders.  
  
"But she-"  
  
I shook my head. "In _my_ house, you respect women. Sakura is a woman and a goddess. You will respect her as you would respect a fellow god because she is a god before she is a woman."  
  
Kaiba shook my hand off. "Fine then," and stormed out of the house.  
  
Sakura turned to me after he left with a half injured, half offended look on her face. "Why? Why didn't you just let me take care of my own business?"   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
a/n: Uh oh, is Sakura gonna get angry at Syaoran? Is the plot moving too fast for some of you guys? I wanted to go slow, but I felt like if I went any slower, you'd all get bored. Oh, a little side note about Hitas. See, I wanted to make it so that she kept hitting on him, but I decided I didn't really want to make the story quite that complicated. She works out better as a friend to everyone instead of a future rival.  
  
\/   
\/   
\/   
Press the button and review! ^-^ (Those are supposed to be arrows btw)   
\/   
\/   
\/   
\/   



	9. A rather important series of conversatio...

  
**DISCLAIMER: I don't own any CCS characters, they belong to CLAMP.**  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**A rather important series of conversations**

  
  
  
That look! it tore at my heart! I didn't want her to look at me like that. I wanted to wipe that look off her face and replace it with the smile I loved so much. "I...I..." She stormed off to her room, leaving me behind. I wasn't sure whether to be amazed or saddened.   
  
I kind of moped around most of the morning and part of the afternoon, until I realized that moping wasn't going to get me anywhere, so I went out side and took a walk. When I came back a few hours later, I couldn't find Sakura. I didn't look in her rooms though, I never went into her rooms unless she asked me to, so I assumed that she was either gone or still angry.  
  
She came back down later that day though, and apologized. "I shouldn't have left you like that this morning. I'm sorry."  
  
"There's no need to be sorry, Sakura. I know you want us all to let you deal with Kaiba, but...you have to undertand that this _is_ my house, and I can't - I won't get you be hurt like that, not under my roof."  
  
She sighed. "I understand. I hadn't meant for this ever to come to your place, and I guess I was angry and Kaiba and some of the anger got tacked on to you."  
  
I nodded. "Are you going to eat something now? You used to always go find something to eat when you were upset," I teased.  
  
"No," she smiled. "I have a stash of junk food in my room."  
  
I wanted to know what she was going to do now, but when I turned around again, she was gone. Just then though, one of my servants came to tell me Hitas was here. She was looking flustered, so I invited her in for something to drink. "I'm a curious goddess, Syaoran," she said.  
  
"Oh?" I said, "how is that?"  
  
Hitas looked around to make sure no one was listening. "Rumors, my friend, are flying."  
  
"About?"  
  
"You and Sakura of course!"  
  
"Me and Sakura?" I repeated, not really interested, but dying to know all the same.  
  
"You _do_ have a rather precarious living situation here. I'm pretty sure I know what's going on though. You just have to tell me if I'm right," she stated.  
  
"All right," I agreed, "tell me what you think is going on."  
  
She nodded. "Everyone knows that Sakura thinks of you as an older brother, so no matter what people are saying, it can't be true, because Sakura is also rather stubborn; unless you did something remarkable to make her fall in love with you, and I don't think that happened, she still thinks of you as just an older brother."  
  
"You have that much right."  
  
"And since she has her own house, which is absolutely gorgeous by the way, it's rather odd that she should be staying with you."  
  
I shrugged, remembering that I had never seen her house before. I made a mental note to go visit her next time she left. "So...what?"  
  
"Is she running from something?"  
  
I stared at her. "Her reason for being here is for her to tell, not me. But there really isn't anything between us except friendship. Really."  
  
"Hitas?" Sakura's voice sounded from behind me.   
  
"Sakura!" she exclaimed in genuine surprise. "I haven't been able to find you in a long time! So this is where you are."  
  
"You must coincidentally visit when I'm 'on vacation' then," she joked, pulling up a seat at the table. "So, why are you here?"  
  
"Oh, well, there's just this rumor going around, oh, you know, about feelings between you and him," she waved her hand in my general direction, "and I just came to see if they were true even though it's really none of my business."  
  
Sakura laughed. "I can't believe it. This place is such a rumor mill. I know this'll sound strange, but I still get homesick a lot, even though I've been here for a while now. Syaoran is like me, he came from the mortal world, so when ever I feel homesick, I'll come stay here. Besides, he a good talker. After all, he did grow up with four sisters."  
  
"Oh, yes, I remember," Hitas laughed. "Well, I should go now. Do, tell me when you're at home. You should come over for a nice lunch sometime, Sakura dear."  
  
"I'll show you the door," I volunteered, seeing that Hitas was giving me an odd look.  
  
At the door, she whispered to me. "Syaoran, I'd watch Sakura's health if I were you. Her aura doesn't look so strong. Must be all the homesickness stuff," with that, she stepped out the door, closing it behind her.  
  
I walked back to where Sakura was. "Hitas bought your story about the homesickness thing. I didn't think you remembered about my sisters; I didn't think you were listening," I added.  
  
"I remember everything I hear and I listen to everything I hear, that's why I'm such a good goddess of love," she replied, smiling up at me. I felt my face heating up, so I quickly turned around, pretending to straighten up a shelf.  
  
"Syaoran," she said softly. "I think I'm going to go home tomorrow."  
  
"Are you sure that's what you want to do? After what happened this morning?"  
  
"I don't want Kaiba bothering you too much, so I'll try not to come as often too." I felt like a lead weight was dropped on my heart. I wouldn't be seeing Sakura as much because she was afraid of my safety.  
  
"Sakura. You really don't have to be worried for me. I can take care of things," I insisted.  
  
"And I don't want you worrying for me. Besides, Kaiba is in a relatively good mood, there's a civil war going on on some planet or other in the mortal realms. He likes civil wars the best," she exlained, making a face. "I think it's disgusting."  
  
She held out the house key I gave her oh so long ago. "No," I said, pushing it away. "You should keep it. You never know when you might need it again."  
  
Sakura laughed and then sighed. Even her slightly sad sigh was music to my ears. "You're so good to everyone you meet Syaoran," she laughed again, "if you ever settle down, who ever is with you is going to be one very lucky woman."  
  
_If you only knew how much I wish you were willing to be that woman_ I thought, but out loud I said, "I think the day I settle down may be a long way off. There's still a lot of wanderlust in me," I lied.  
  
Right after Sakura left the next day, Kaho stormed into my house. "Do you know what you just did?" she asked me quietly, which was a lot worse than her yelling.  
  
"I just did a lot of things. Which thing would you be referring to?"  
  
"What did you say to Sakura last night?"  
  
"Nothing much....oh...we did have a conversation about Kaiba. But that was normal."  
  
"Well, you must have said something to make her want to go on a journey."  
  
"A journey?" I thought. "Oh, I lied and told her that there was still a bit of wanderlust left in me. She can defend her self pretty well. Whenever she fights me, the matches come to a draw."  
  
"Probably because you're too busy staring at her," Kaho muttered, "but that's not the point. If she was going to the mortal realms, she would have no problem. But she's decided to go exploring out world."  
  
"Kaho, I was under the impression that our world is fairly safe."  
  
Kaho coughed. "Yes, well, in general, it is. But, um, our realms...they didn't exactally come that way. This place, came with bad things too. Horrible, awful creatures that make up the nightmares of the mortal worlds. Umm...if Sakura wanders her way into where those creatures were confined...she's dead meat."  
  
I could feel the anger slowly bubbling up within me. "Why didn't either of you teach us about this? This is insanity. I've got to go tell her to stop and go home."  
  
"Ahh, there's not really a need to do that anymore either," she smiled a little half smile that resembled Eriol's.  
  
"If she's dead, you're toast."  
  
"Number one, gods can't die. Number two, a god can't kill another god. And number three...he...he (those were giggles)...I already sent Eriol after her....in the form of a little puppy dog. He was very cute if I may say so myself. He was so cuddle-able, you should've seen him Syaoran."  
  
I narrowed my eyes and looked at Kaho, who now sported a rackish grin. "I will never understand the way you do things."  
  
"I'm the goddess of wisdom. You aren't supposed to understand what I do." Her grin grew even wider.  
  
A sudden thought occured to me. "Why did you come in here acting like the end of the world? You already sent Eriol after her."  
  
"I wanted to impress into your mind the fact that the Realm of the Gods is not safe everywhere."  
  
"Well, you did a good job of it, I'm certainly never going to forget the day I thought we were all going to die."  
  
Kaho sighed romantically. "If only Sakura wanted to be loved."  
  
"You can say that again," I responded, joining her mood.  
  
"Did you know that Kaiba was rather gentle with her at first?"  
  
"Come again?" I was quite shocked. If Kaiba had been good to Sakura at one point, why did she not accept him?  
  
"I said he was gentle with her in the beginning. But then she didn't want him, so he got angry. I guess he just never cooled down."  
  
I stared. "But, Kaho, why didn't Sakura want Kaiba? He was gentle and he's good looking and they _were_ friends."  
  
Kaho looked at me pointedly and sadly. "Sakura was very poor as a child. Her parents only wanted what was best for her, but they didn't consider her own feelings. I think she left something or someone behind that she loved very much."  
  
"How _do_ you know all this?" I mused outloud to myself. Kaho took my spoken thought as a question and answered it.  
  
"The Fates told me the first part, and I wouldn't be the Goddess of Wisdom if I couldn't infer."  
  
"Is Hitas friends with _everybody_?" I asked, randomly changing the subject. I had been wondering this for a long time. Everytime I saw her, she was always going on about other gods and goddesses. She also always seemed to know exactally what was happening; one would think that she was the the patron of busybodies and snoops if the superficial Hitas was all one saw.  
  
"Well...yes. It's kind of part of her job. She's like our local doctor, so everyone is on friendly terms with her," Kaho shrugged. "That's why she knows so much about everyone. She goes visiting to check on people and they talk. She's very likable, neh? And pretty too," Kaho added, obviously hinting.  
  
"Hel-lo, you're speaking to one of the men who's fanatically in love with the Goddess of Love."  
  
"I know, geez," she said, turning around, "I was just stating as a fact that the Goddess of Health is very beautiful. Do you have any of those cherry preserves Sakura's so fond of making?"  
  
"Umm...yeah. Did you guys run out?" Sakura's house was surrounded by cherry trees. Every spring, when the cherries were ripe, she'd go into a frenzy of baking and preserving. Especially preserving. Cherry season was actually the one time of the year Kaiba didn't dare disturb her. None of us dared to actually. Sakura would temporarily petrify anything moving within twenty feet of her; no bird or mouse was going to get any of her precious cherries. Unfortunately, if any of us were visiting, all she'd see was something moving and **boom**, there would be a temporarily petrified god. I always thought it was rather a cute habit. Dangerous, but cute.  
  
  
  
  
She's still like that too. I always make sure to stay in the other end of the house when she's in the kitchen in the spring.  
  
  
  
  
She laughed sheepishly. "I told Eriol that I'd have his favorite food waiting for him when he got back. In exchange for his being turned into a dog."  
  
"You make it sound so permanent," I accused.   
  
  
  
  
  
a/n: I liked this chapter. What about you? Talk to me folks! 


	10. Sakura

  
**DISCLAIMER: I don't own any CCS characters, they belong to CLAMP.**  
  
  
  
a/n: I hope you didn't all abandon hope and go read my other story to find out what happens. ^^ Sorry this took a while. My creative efforts were focused on two of my other stories for a while. I think you should go read them if you have a chance. Keys of Light and Dark and The view from Hong Kong.  
  
**Fei**- I think it was kinda funny I got your review the same day I updated the last chapter. I guess it just didn't show up.  
  
**kirjava-chan**- Did you lose self-control and go read the other story yet? I didn't mean to wait this long to update.  
  
**Lian Leviathan**- I don't get it. What did your grandma do to her fig and walnut tree? I love figs. ^_______^  
  
  
  
  
  


**Sakura**

  
  
  
One week passed, then another, Kaho frequently came over to assuse me that Sakura was well. She also had gone to Kaiba and basically did the same thing she did with me - scare him. She told me that after she had informed him about the dangers of our world, Kaiba started a verbal rampage against everything he could think of and was prepared to walk out the door, sword in hand and magic at the ready, to slay every single monster he found before Kaho could calm him down and tell him that Eriol was with Sakura. Kaiba, for some reason, thought he was invincible in all things.  
  
  
  
  
His superman attitude was what got him killed, but we'll get to that later.  
  
  
  
  
Another week passed. Hitas came for dinner one day and told me that Kaiba was deep in thought about something and had himself locked up in his house; she was an absolute gold mine of information about other gods. During her visit, she reminded me that Sakura's health might be in the same state it was when she left. "I'll go check in on her when she returns just to make sure though."  
  
"Why are you telling me?" I asked.  
  
"You're always concerned about anything involving her. I'd almost say you liked her." My face heated up. I'm sure she noticed because she smirked and added. "Of course, only in a nice brotherly fashion."  
  
It was a good thing she was the only god outside our little group I was really friends with. "Don't worry, Syaoran, your secret's safe with me," she said, smirking again when she left.  
  
By the end of the fifth week, with only positive news from Eriol, I stopped worrying. I stopped worrying too soon. The next day, Eriol came back, with an unconcious Sakura. "What happened?" I demanded as soon as he contacted me.  
  
"She's sick," he replied in awe. Gods rarely fall ill, so Sakura's illness was unusual, but then I remembered that Hitas had warned me.  
  
"I'll find Hitas," Kaho said wringing her hands.  
  
Hitas showed up less that two minutes later. She pointed at me and Eriol. "Stay out of the way, you two. Things will get done faster if you do."  
  
"Should we go find Kaiba?" Eriol asked.  
  
Hitas paused briefly. "No. He'll be even more in the way. And I doubt you'll be able to reach him, he's locked himself inside his house for some reason or another," with that, she rushed off with Kaho to tend to Sakura.  
  
Eriol and I walked to my place. "Why does everyone seem so scared?"  
  
Eriol gave me a long, steady look. "The types of sickness that effect Gods are few, but they're vicious. If a God were infected with a mortal disease, he would simply shrug it off, but our diseases are different, they're hard to get, but once caught, they're hell to get rid of."  
  
"You are so encouraging."  
  
"Don't underestimate Sakura. She'll live."  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
"Because I was sick once too. It was the worst eperience of my life, I was nautious and throwing up all over the place. I couldn't see straight, I felt like everyone was trying to make me dizzy. The slightest pressure caused waves of pain and every noise hurt my ears. But I remember the Hitas saying that no matter what the illness, if it comes suddenly, it'll go suddenly. 100 percent survival. If it came gradually, it'll go gradually. With that one, survival is still good, but not 100 percent."  
  
"How much is not 100 percent?"  
  
"Ninety."  
  
"Ninety's not bad."  
  
"Not bad at all," he agreed.  
  
"So which kind did Sakura have."  
  
Eriol paused and quickly said, "I don't know."  
  
"Fat lot of help you are," I muttered.  
  
"Hey I told the truth."  
  
"Which is good."  
  
"And you seem to be less stressed."  
  
"Which is not true," I replied and then mentally called out, _"Kaho, Hitas!"_  
  
_"No need to yell, Syaoran. What's wrong?"_ Hitas calmly replied.  
  
_"You don't have to ask. I already know,"_ Kaho said menacingly. _"Eriol, did you tell Syaoran your 'When I was sick' story?"_ she demanded.  
  
_"Eh..hehe...yes."_  
  
_"Why? Wasn't it true?"_ I demanded.  
  
_"Oh, it was true enough, that's how we meet, when he was sick, but he didn't have to scare you any more than you were."_  
  
_"ERIOL!"_ I said out loud and telepathically.  
  
_"I wouldn't worry that much Syaoran. Sakura's a tough one to beat."_ Hitas paused. _"From now on, the two of you can only come here ONCE a day. For dinner. Other than that, I don't want to see either of you. We can take care of Sakura better that way."_  
  
"Just once a day?" I complained to Eriol. "What if she needs something? What if something happens and we can't get there fast enough? What if-"  
  
"Shut up, Syaoran," Eriol said bluntly. "I know you're worried, but we all are. I know you have even more reason to be worried since you happen to have a romantic interest in her, but no one is supposed to know that."  
  
"That's right," I inturrupted. "How did you and Kaho find out exactally?"  
  
"Kaho guessed. Remember? I can't believe you can't remember. That's insane," Eriol commented, shaking his head.  
  
Three weeks passed. I must admit, they were probably the most agonizing three weeks of my life. If it hadn't been for the fact that Gods don't age, I think I would have aged thrity years in three weeks. In those three weeks though, Sakura recovered and Kaiba was still "missing." I suspected that Kaiba wasn't in our world anymore. As much as I resented Kaiba for his emotional attatchment to Sakura, I still remembered when we were really friends; I worried about him constantly.  
  
Soon enought though, I found out what Kaiba was planning. "Syaoran," he said to me. "I'm going on a little vacation soon."  
  
"A vacation," I repeated flatly. "Where do you plan on escaping your duties as a god?"  
  
"Oh. No. You see, for the past three months - I think it's been longer though, I haven't been keeping track - neglecting my duties is exactally what I've been doing. See, the Fates came and visited me. I'm in trouble. I need to go redeem myself in their eyes....so I have to go to the Mortal Realms for a while," he explained.  
  
Though I was curious as to how he had offended the Fates, I could see he wasn't ready to tell, so I didn't push it. "Good Luck. They're hard to please," I said.  
  
He started absent mindedly, "Yes...well. Just don't tell anyone where I'm going." Kaiba looked like he was about ready to vanish.  
  
"Wait, don't you want to talk to Kaho or Eriol or...Sakura?" I had to choke out that last name.  
  
Kaiba smiled mysteriously. "Maybe when I get back, I'll have things figured out," and then he vanished in his customary red fire.  
  
I toyed with the idea of telling at least Kaho where Kaiba went; she had always liked knowing where everyone was. I expected him to be back in a few months. No more than a year, so I ruled against telling Kaho where he was. But a year passed, and another, and another, but there was no sign of Kaiba. Finally, Eriol came to me one day, "What happened to Kaiba?" he asked bluntly.  
  
"Why do you want to know?"  
  
"Because he just diappeared! That's why."  
  
"Don't tell me you just noticed."  
  
"I just noticed. How long has he been gone anyway?"  
  
"How could you have just noticed?" Kaiba had been gone for such a long time that even the people who thought he was still in his house were getting suspicious.  
  
"He let behind some kind of illusion to make us think he was still there. How long has he been gone?" Eriol repeated.  
  
"Oh, a while now," I said counting. "Nearly five years."  
  
"What for?"  
  
I shook my head. "Didn't say."  
  
"Oh. I see..."  
  
"He didn't want any one to know..." I added, just remembering. "Oops."  
  
"Never mind, never mind. I'm sure he'll forgive you."  
  
Then I also remembered that in those five years, I saw Sakura after she recovered from her illness, but that was only once. And since Kaiba hadn't been around to bother her, well, it was just another reason I hadn't seen her. Five years goes by pretty fast for a god. I hadn't noticed how long it had been until now. "Come with me somewhere, Eriol," I suggested.  
  
"Where could you possibly want to go where you would need me?" he asked. I think he already knew.  
  
"Let's go visit Sakura."  
  
Eriol blinked and then grinned. "What do you need me for?"  
  
"Well......well......."  
  
He laughed. "Syaoran. As much as we both love Sakura...well, maybe just you, since you love her in a different way than I do...as much as you love Sakura, you have to admit, she's dense. Even if you drop a hint the size of both our houses combined, she wouldn't understand."  
  
I smiled. Eriol did have a point there. "Maybe I should just go by myself and surprise her."  
  
Eriol smiled back. "Don't do anything stupid."  
  
I had never been to Sakura's house before. I sort of wanted to surprise her though, so I used my magic to find where her magic was located and then 'ported myself a little ways away from it. I ended up in her living room. It was completely an accident. I really meant to put myself outside her front door. I wanted to surprise her, not pop in like a burgler.  
  
It really was quite fortunate for me that Kaho was visiting, or else I might have gotten petrified. "Umm...Syaoran?" she gave me a funny look. Sakura's back was facing me, so she didn't see what Kaho was looking at. I felt my face heating up.  
  
"Don't be silly, Kaho, 'Syaoran' isn't the name of something you can cook with." Sakura obviously didn't get it.  
  
I wasn't really sure what I should be doing. I didn't exactally belong where I was, but I couldn't exactally get out either. I looked at Kaho apologetically and tapped Sakura on the shoulder. She squeaked in surprise and turned around. "Did I let you in?" she frowned.  
  
"Erm...not really. No. I actually meant to end up outside your front door, but I ended up here instead."  
  
It seemed to dawn on her just then who I was and she squealed in delight and hugged my arm. "Oh, Syaoran. This is absi-posi-tivolutly wooonderful! You've never seen where I live before. I've been meaning to invite you over, but it always slips my mind, along with a bunch of other things, but that doesn't matter. Isn't this wonderful, Kaho? Why don't you stay for dinner, Syaoran? Oh, Kaho, why don't you bring Eriol along too? Does anyone know where Kaiba is? Let's all have dinner here. What do you think Kaho?"  
  
Kaho smiled. Sakura had said all that so very quickly. "Dinner here sounds good, but, um, Sakura. Are you sure you want to invite Kaiba?"  
  
Sakura blinked. "Oh, that's right. _That_. Well...it might hurt his feelings if i didn't invite him..."  
  
I cleared my throat. "Actually, Sakura. He's not here right now. But you aren't supposed to know that," I looked away, rather embarassed that I had broken a promise. "Just...just so you don't feel too guilty about not inviting him," was my mumbled excuse.  
  
Sakura patted my head like I was a child and chuckled. "You're so sweet, Syaoran," her chuckle was like a rainbow. Each sound was it's own color, brilliant and beautiful in every way. She cocked her head and looked at me the way a bird would "You weren't supposed to tell me that were you?" she asked.  
  
"Not exactally," I said.  
  
She grew serious. "You're a very noble man, Syaoran. You could have just kept his secret though."  
  
"You would have found out anyway," I replied. "If you couldn't find him mentally, you would have gone out to look for him, and you would have found out anyway." She grinned sheepishly. I had guessed right. "Why do you do that anyway? Why are you still so nice to him?" I asked. I couldn't help myself, but the question had been bothering me ever since my conversation with Kaho before Sakura fell ill.  
  
"Because he's still my friend, Syaoran. No matter what happens, no matter how much I hate him, I'm always going to remember him as my friend."  
  
"Amazing," I whispered to myself. "You have a very forgiving nature, Lady Sakura," I said, mock bowing.  
  
"Do I?" Sakura pretended to look flustered and then laughed. "One of you guys had better tell Eriol to pop on in," she said to Kaho and me before disappearing into the kitchen.  
  
Yes, Sakura did have a very forgiving nature. That was the way she is to everyone. It's as if she doesn't know how to hate. Didn't know how to hate, rather, because eventually,Kaiba would even push her to the very limits of her forgiveness. But that was still a ways away.  
  
  
  
  
  
a/n: eh, not exactally my favorite chapter, but that's that. Hopefully, the next one will be better. Well? So what did you think of what's happening? No cliffie this time...maybe next time though...*cracks knuckles* I'm getting close to a fun part to write ohohohohohohohohoho! Review, review! ^___^  
  
  
  
  
p.s. That reminds me. I need some advice on one of my other stories, if you are willing to help me, will you leave a message in a review or e-mail me at kooky_cookiemonster03@yahoo.com? Thanks.  
  



	11. Our Village Idiot

  
**DISCLAIMER: I don't own any CCS characters, they belong to CLAMP.**  
  
  
  
a/n: Good lord I love this title ^^  
  
It's been a while since my last update huh? It's seemed like forever to me. My phone line was screwy for the longest time, meaning I had no internet for a few days. And...*looks around for place to hide*...this story has had a lack of creative inspiration...and *cough* I feel guilty for saying this, it isn't my priority right now (School is (duh).) I'm really been working hard on Keys of Light and Dark. I love that story *looks pointedly at everyone else*. i hope you go check it out. Oh, and since the last time I updated, I came out with two short one-shot fics. They're related to each other, but not exactally continuation of each other. You should go read those too.   
  
  
  


**Our Village Idiot**

  
  
  
Let me just say that Kaiba was gone for a very, very, very long time. It was insane how long he was gone. I don't know what he was doing, but he obviously didn't change because the first thing he did when he got back was come see me.  
  
"Syaoran," he said, "I've figured it out."  
  
"Figured what out?" I asked. Kaiba was breathless and excited.  
  
"Waitwaitwait. I have to tell how I found out first," he started, but I cut him off.  
  
"What have you figured out Kaiba? You're confusing me," I laughed.  
  
He looked me straight in the eye, leaned in close and whispered, "I know...I know why Sakura doesn't want me."  
  
How could he possibly know why Sakura didn't want him? I was shocked. This was going to be very interesting. He had been gone for so many eons that Sakura had been almost happy without him. Sad, but true. "Ok, Kaiba," I said with sarcasm, "enlighten me. Tell me why Sakura doesn't want you."  
  
Kaiba sat back and started to explain his theory to me. "I could have come home ages ago, Syaoran. I had proven myself to the Fates, my job was done. But, I didn't want to come home yet. When I came back, I wanted to be someone Sakura, or anyone for that matter, could fall in love with. So you know what I did? Do you?" he eagerly asked. I shook my head. "I went around for years trying to figure out what women liked in men."  
  
"First, I thought I had to be good looking, but I already am good looking. Then I thought it was being nice, but I was nice to Sakura a lot too. Then I ran out of ideas. But it occured to me that maybe Sakura was playing hard to get because she wanted to know whether or not I was faithful. And she wants a commitment."  
  
I looked at him steadily. I could tell he wanted me to jump up and down and encourage him with whatever loony plan he had up his sleeve, but I couldn't. How could he not see that he had _not_ been nice to Sakura. How could he not see that Sakura was not playing hard to get and that she truly, sincerely, didn't want him? I didn't understand.  
  
"What? Did I say something wrong?" Kaiba queried like an innocent child.  
  
"Kaiba," I began, "are you sure you've completely thought this through?"  
  
"Oh, definately," was his enthusiastic reply. "I know that Sakura wants commitment. She craves it. Do you see? So you know what I plan on doing? I'm going to marry her." He said that last part so fast, I nearly didn't catch it.  
  
"You're going to what?!"  
  
"Marry her."  
  
Kaiba would be making the biggest mistake of his life if he went through with this. I knew it. But the way he said it, and because I knew Kaiba's personality, I also knew that he was not going to be talked out of this. A sigh escaped my lips. "Kaiba. You really need to think about this,"  
  
"I did, Syaoran. I did. You see, I'm not going to barge in on her and ask her to marry me, I'm going to slowly introduce the topic. She'll come around. You'll see." I marvelled at Kaiba's thick-headedness. How could he be so blind??  
  
"Kaiba-" I started again.  
  
"Sorry, Syaoran, I've got to go, I was making chocolates for my lady love," and he disappeared, singing love songs to himself.  
  
I slumped down in my couch, completely drained of energy. I couldn't believe what I just heard. Kaiba. Sakura. He was wrong. He was going to ruin his life if he followed through, but there wasn't anyway I could tell him. No way. I had to think of some way to protect Sakura from him. I had to think of some way to keep her from him. But...how?  
  
At that moment, the door knocked. I was thinking so hard though, that I didn't hear it. Finally, someone materialized a short distance from me. "Syaoran?" I heard a female voice inquire. It was Sakura's voice. Part of my wanted to drag myself down further into my abyss of thought, part of me wanted to warn her if I could about what to expect from Kaiba.  
  
"Hmmm?" I returned, slowly coming back to reality.  
  
"Umm. Are you ok?" Sakura asked, she bent over so she was eye level with me.  
  
"Sakura, Kaiba's back you know."  
  
Something like a scowl passed over her face. "Yes. I know," she replied curtly.  
  
"Did you know he-" How was I going to say this without Sakura thinking I was playing some perverted practical joke on her? How?  
  
"-he is planning on bothering me soon? Yes, Syaoran, I did," Sakura finished my sentence, not letting me have a chance to figure out how to reveal the truth to her.  
  
I sighed. I couldn't do it. To this very day, I still can't figure out why I couldn't try to protect her from Kaiba. I still don't know. Instead, I let her blather on about a little colt that had been born to a mare we were watching. Apparently, she noticed that the conversation was extremely one sided. "Syaoran. It would take an idiot to see that you aren't feeling well. Should I go find Hitas?" she asked with touching concern.  
  
"No, no. I'm fine. I was just thinking about Kaiba."  
  
"...well...we'll probably be spending a lot more time together," she tried to joke.  
  
I took hold of her shoulders. "Sakura, I really worry about you sometimes. You have to promise me, to come here if he even tries to do anything to you."  
  
My exclaimation startled Sakura. "But Syaoran, part of the reason I had you teach me martial arts was so I could defend myself. And Syaoran? You're hurting me," she looked at my hands. I let go of her and muttered an apology. "Something about Kaiba must really be bothering you for you to do this," she reasoned, "I promise you, Syaoran. I'll come here when ever I need to." She smiled benevolently. "There's someone at the door."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Hitas. I asked her to come when I saw the way you looked."  
  
"I'm feeling fine though, Sakura."  
  
"I want to make sure though. And she's here already anyway, so she might as well take a look at you," Sakura smiled again and all my protests died.  
  
Hitas, glided in and took one look at me and then back at Sakura. "He's perfectly fine."  
  
"Just making sure," Sakura agreed.  
  
"You're worried about something though, aren't you?" Hitas asked. I shrugged. I didn't want Sakura to know anymore. "He doesn't want to share either," she remarked to Sakura. "If that's it then, I'm going to pay Kaiba a visit. He's back you know,"  
  
"We know," I answered miserably, "We know."  
  
Sure enough, nearly half a year later, Sakura came to stay. She was absolutely miserable. I prayed Kaiba hadn't asked her to marry him yet. The day she came was extremely hot. The heat probably exaggerated everyone's tempers, but especially Kaiba's. Poor Sakura stormed into my house and started ranting, not caring who was around to listen.  
  
"Do you know what the little sucker thinks I want? He thinks I want commitment. From HIM! Does he have ears? Does he ever listen to anyone? Nooooo. He thinks that I'm playing hard to get. Insanity. Who feeds him these ideas? Has he no logic? I can't believe he would even consider for a moment that I would want to spend the rest of forever with _him_ the disgusting little jerk," _crash_, Sakura accidentally knocked over a table. I choose this moment to make my presence known.  
  
"Commitment?" I acted surprised.  
  
"Marraige, to be exact," she huffed. "Where _does_ he get these out of whack ideas? They come from stereotypes. How many times have I told him that I don't love him? How many? And he still manages to talk himself into thinking I'm playing hard to get!" the volume of her voice rose to yelling levels.  
  
I cupped her face in my hands. "I have a question for you, Sakura. What _do_ you want?"  
  
She slowed down to think and started wringing her hands. "I don't know. I don't know anymore," she repeated.  
  
I nodded. Not really getting anything out of her answer. Once again, we entered the "normal" cycle of things. I expected Sakura to not come very often, not that I had any complaints with her appearing a lot, but it _was_ a sign that Kaiba was not only returning to his old habits, but he was escalating them to the point where Sakura was in tears and yelling in frusteration half the time.  
  
I tried to talk some sense into Kaiba. "You're giving her more grief than happiness, Kaiba," I told him once, bluntly.  
  
He looked at me, stricken, "she tells you all that?"  
  
For the next few months, he behaved himself. Unfortunately, the stinging wore off and he returned to harassing Sakura. What happened as a result of my not being able to stop Kaiba is something that looking back, I can't remember very clearly. My emotions got in the way so much that I can't remember everything as clearly as I'd like too.  
  
Eriol was at my house one day. I think we were fencing. I don't remember. Then Sakura came in. I could tell she was upset, but she was hiding it from Eriol and Kaho. So far, they only knew that Kaiba was bothering Sakura again, but the didn't know that he was constantly proposing marraige to her.  
  
What was different about this time, though, was that Sakura simply sat and cried.   
  
  
  
  
  
a/n: This really isn't a cliff hanger either (darn) but it is a turning point. *cracks knuckles* bwahahahahaha. Don't forget to go read my other stuff. And as always, review, review, review (for all of them). I like getting reviews. *hint, hint*  
  
See you around. If you want to be notified of when the new chapters come out, leave me your e-mail. ;) 


	12. My friend, my rival

  
**DISCLAIMER: I don't own any CCS characters, they belong to CLAMP.**  
  
  
  
a/n: I love how you guys all left such wonderful long reviews last chapter. I like getting long reviews. ^_^ I like getting reviews in general. _ Oh, and there were so many _*-* ! I think the most I've ever gotten on a chapter is 20 something. Last chapter came close. ^_______^  
  
Apologies for the long wait. Curses to college apps. grr.....  
  
**lilyflower, I love Li Syaoran, and Jared** - hehehe....Kaiba is so thick sometimes, neh? It adds a little comic relief in a really twisted way, but only in the beginning part. The end....well...I won't give it away. ^_^ Force you all to keep reading. ^_^ Oh, and Jared, I'm with ya on the Kaiba thing. I don't think it's apparent in this chapter, but soon...ohohohohohohohoho.  
  
**Firey chan** - I like your comment on love   
  
  
  


**My friend, My rival**

  
  
  
"I can't take it anymore. I have to get away from Kaiba," she said to me. Why was she telling me this when she knew she was more than welcome to stay with me. I told her so, but she just shook her head. "No, it's not that simple anymore."  
  
She started crying even harder. I'd never seen her quite like this before. Her sobs were overtaking her body. I wanted to cradle her in my arms and keep her there for ever and ever. I wanted to protect her from everyone and everything. There was so much I wanted to do, but couldn't. Before I could control the impulse, I found myself taking her into my arms and holding her close.  
  
A few more minutes of crying, and she calmed down. She sighed in my arms and then gently pushed away, wiping away the tears. She started talking. "I was born in the mortal world. I was fifteen when I came here. My mother and father told me that on the day I was born, the Fates came and told them I was to be a goddess. My parents didn't want to let me go. I guess I would have loved to follow the Fates here, but I was in love. With a boy named Gareth," Sakura paused to see if I understood. In my hear, I was making the connections faster than I could digest them.  
  
"We didn't want to leave each other. We were so in love. But in the end, it was inevitable that we separate. Right before the portal closed between the two worlds, I told him I'd never forget him. He seemed to have something on his mind and I just wanted to comfort him. He said something back, but it was too late, I couldn't hear him. To this very day, I wonder that he said to me, and even though he's been dead for over a thousand years, not a day passes when I don't think about him. Do you understand now why it's so hard for me to love?" she finished.  
  
Now. Now I knew about why Sakura acted the way she did. She was stuck in the past. I nodded. "Because you're reluctant to let go."  
  
Sakura nodded back. But then she dropped the bomb. "Yes, and Kaiba isn't helping me forget." She stopped for a minute to consider her words. "I need to go away for a while. Far, far away. Away to the mortal realms."  
  
In my mind, her choice made sense. The problem with the Realms of the Gods was that nothing changed. Everything around Sakura would remind her of when she first arrived, when the hurt was the most painful. If she could purge her memory by going away...  
  
I didn't want her to go. I tried to keep her here. "Sakura. You're a goddess, how can you?"  
  
"No one said anything about not being able to visit the mortal world. I'll be perfectly safe thanks to you and your matial arts training," she responded frankly. Clearly, this was not a spur of the moment idea.  
  
I pleaded again for her to think this through. I wanted so badly now, to take her into my arms and tell her how much I loved her, but I knew she wouldn't be happy if I did. But what was I going to do without her?  
  
Again, I pleaded, but I could see it in her eyes. I'd lost the argument as soon as she'd started talking because she was determined to leave with or without my approval. "You're right..." I sighed, there was nothing I could do to stop her. Nothing at all.  
  
Before she went up to her rooms though, she turned around. "Promise me that you won't tell anyone where I'm going. Act like I'm just staying here. And you need to be surprised when I leave, so I'm not telling you when I'm leaving."  
  
What could I do but agree? "Fine. Where are you going?"  
  
"Back to my world."  
  
The only thing I could do was sit and stare. How did she think going back to her world was gong to help her? I didn't understand, but there wasn't a way I could stop her without risking at least her friendship. And the slight possibility of ever winning her love.  
  
The rest of the day passed in sort of a haze. I didn't see Sakura at all, which should have made me suspicious, but didn't. I was too stunned by her decision that was even sure of my left hand and right hand. What was she going to do when she got to her home planet? Was she going to try and find the remenats of the village she had come from? Try and find the grooves of cherry trees where she had played as a child. I know I could have easily caught her thoughts, but that's unethical.  
  
When it was time for dinner, she didn't show up; Sakura was always punctual for meals. I went up to her room to see if she was all right. Normally, I wouldn't even go into her room, there was an understanding between the two of us that I wouldn't randomly go into her rooms. The door to her room was slightly open. She never left a door half open, just like she never left anything half done. I knocked, but hearing no answer, went in; the door _was_ open.  
  
Inside, though, there was no Sakura. Just three notes, one for Kaiba, me, and Eriol and Kaho, and a trace of magic. So she'd left. I was deffinately surprised. I called out to Eriol, Kaho, and Kaiba, telling then to come to my place immediately. I even said it was an emergency to make sure they would be here _now_ not _later_.  
  
A few seconds later, the three of them materialized in my living room, wondering what was going on. I handed them the notes. I had already read mine. She had predicted that Kaiba would be very angry. "You and Eriol will be able to calm him down though," she had written. Her faith in us was touching, but I wasn't so sure of us.  
  
Eriol read the note Sakura left for him and Kaho, and his face immediately became impassive, revealing no emotion what so ever. He passed the note to Kaho. She read it and started to cry. Apparently, Sakura had sounded so much like herself in that note that Kaho was overcome with grief.  
  
Kaiba on the other hand, Kaiba, Kaiba. He read the note Sakura left for him, sat and turned red. His fists were clenched at his side. The worry inside me built up; what if he completely exploded and we couldn't calm him? I had glimpsed the note Sakura wrote for him. It was a single line, hastily scrawled. "Sakura is not the one for you," it read.  
  
After a few minutes of uneasy silence, Kaho turned to Kaiba. "It's your fault. Why couldn't you listen to me when I told you to leave her alone?" she demanded.  
  
She looked like she was about to go one, but Eriol silenced her and led her farther away from Kaiba. For the longest time, the only sound was Kaho's occasional sniffle and a heartbroken sob. "I'm going to look for her."  
  
"NO!" was the unanimous shout. Evidently, we all agreed with Kaho to some degree, but it was Kaho who showed her venom.  
  
"You've ruined her life enough already. She is not the same Sakura who came to us all those years ago. I remember a time when she was happy. When she was truly happy," she accused icily.  
  
Eriol agreed with Kaho. "Sakura needs time by herself," started Eriol, "and Kaho, my dear, you are right, I didn't notice before, but Sakura has changed. Who knows, she may come back a changed goddess."  
  
I waited until I could see the effects of their statements before I added my thoughts. Kaiba was not taking it well. Even so, I had an overwhelming urge to speak my mind. "I'm sorry Kaiba, but she told me she doesn't want you. Don't you get it? You're the whole reason she left. Did you read her note or what? And she's told you so about a hundred million times. I have complete faith in her. She'll come back when she's ready. Sakura is her own pers-" He cut me off before I could finish.  
  
"I don't give a damn," were his exact words. He pushed me into the wall behind me and started to leave, obviously trying to find a way to find Sakura. But something stopped him. The Fates stopped him! I hadn't seen them in such a long time. Meeting them now, though, gave me the feeling that I would be seeing a lot more of them for the time being.  
  
Even Kaiba lost some of his bravado upon seeing them. Enti spoke. "You, Kaiba, God of War, are forbidden to interfere with Sakura. There are events that will happen that are necessary in her life." I puzzled over that statement, and it seemed Kaiba did too, since he paused before he retorted.  
  
"How would you know?" Goodness, Kaiba could be stupid sometimes. Apparently, the Fates also thought so, since Vega and Soko admonished him. Stung, Kaiba hesetated even more.  
  
"Hear and obey," Enti concluded. The three women disappeared and Kaiba look sullen and angry, but in a more contained way than before. It seemed that he had resigned himself to his current position and wasn't even going to try to rebel.  
  
There was no way this was going to last very long though. Unless the Fates themselves enforced Kaiba's thoughts, he would soon return to his militant ways and try to get Sakura back. For now though, Sakura had a head start. Kaiba didn't know where she was, he wasn't allowed to find out where she was, and even if he did by some miraculous chance find out where he was, he wasn't allowed to do anything about it. I could almost shout with joy, a perverse kind of joy, but joy nonetheless.  
  
At the same time though, I wondered where Sakura was and how she was doing. It would help if I knew when she left, but I didn't. I knew where she was going though, making me one step ahead of Kaiba, my rival and my friend.   
  
  
  
  
a/n: short chapter neh? what do you think? I love the Fates. They're darlings. I crave your feedback just as badly as Syaoran wants to tell Sakura his feelings. I crave your feedback the way a pregnant woman craves strange foods. I crave your feedback the way a vampire craves blood. Are you getting the idea? ^_^ Review! 


	13. What happened?

  
**DISCLAIMER: I don't own any CCS characters, they belong to CLAMP.**  
  
  
  
a/n: **Japanfan** - true, I've never been pregnant, but I've never been a vampire either. ^_^  
  
Oh, gosh, It's been quite a while since I updated (At least for me it's seemed like a long time.). Hopefully I got you if you asked to be e-mailed this last time. I love November. It's the month of three and four day weeks. Happy is I!!!!!!!!   
  
  
  


**What happened?**

  
  
  
Kaiba left grumbling. The Fates had ordered him to stay away from Sakura, and the other three of us took that as a warning to us not to interfere as well.  
  
Ever curious, Hitas cornered me in my own house, curious to know about Sakura's where abouts. For once, I kept information Hitas wanted to myself. I had promised Sakura, and I was not about to break a promise, especially one to Sakura.  
  
"Why not?" she demanded, trying to wheedle the secret out of me. She was so convinced I knew where Sakura was.  
  
"I don't know, for the hundredth time, Hitas, for the love of all that's good, I don't know," I lied. I suck at lying. She wasn't convinced.  
  
"You know, I know you know. I'll get it out of you one of these days. Maybe Kaiba'll know..." she disappeared. I could have told her that Kaiba wouldn't know anything I didn't know already. There was no reason for Sakura to tell Kaiba and not me.  
  
I tried for a few weeks not to worry about Sakura, but I couldn't help it. So to keep track of where she was, I spelled a mirror to show me where she was.  
  
She came from an area of her planet now called Kiramati. It was a beautiful place, full of trees and forests. Sakura would love it there. Unless the environment had changed significantly in the thousands of years that she had been living with us, Sakura would feel right at home. I still didn't know how going back home would help her though. If anything, it would make her past more vivid.  
  
She went to the palace, and integrated herself into the princess's inner circle by becoming one of her friends and tutors. Sakura traded her martial arts expertise for sanctuary in the palace. The only thing about her appearance that she had changed was the length of her hair. It was unusual to see her hair go past her shoulders, but it looked wonderful.  
  
I was rather suspicious that no one recognized Sakura as the Godess of Love. She looked exactally the same, except for the length of her hair. I watched in amazement as Sakura and the Princess Nakuru walked past people and yet _no one recognized Sakura_. The Fates were on her side.  
  
I left the spell on the mirror for several days, but after the first week, I was sure she was perfectly safe where she was and unspelled the mirror.  
  
I tried to live my life normally, but I couldn't remember life before Sakura. How had I even survived without knowing Sakura?  
  
Some how though, a month passed by and I still lived. Kaho and Eriol found Sakura's location though. On accident almost, but there's no such thing as an accident. Especially among the Gods.  
  
The King of Kiramati had fallen in love with Sakura and instead of praying to the Goddess of Love (which wouldn't have done him any good anyway) he prayed to Kaho, the Goddess of Wisdom. So in the middle of the night, I was yanked out of bed by an irritated Kaho. She hadn't told Eriol why she had pulled him out too, but as soon as she did, Eriol woke up.  
  
I didn't react. It was late at night! What was I supposed to do? I wasn't thinking. But my lack of reaction was grating on Eriol's nerves. I could tell he was about to say something harsh so I spoke up first. "Hey. Before you two start yelling at me, in my own defense I'd like to say that I was just keeping a promise, and in Sakura's defense, we really should just keep this our little secret."  
  
Kaho nodded as if she understood which made Eriol calm down as well. She gave me a funny look. She narrowed her eyes and frowned slightly. "There's another piece of information I know you're just dying to know," she said after she had scrutinized me.  
  
She stopped more for effect than to see if the two of us would react, but I said, "well? What is it?"  
  
"The King there, Yue, is falling in love with Sakura."   
  
I nearly choked on my own spit. The King was falling in love with Sakura! I felt a spasm of jealously in my gut. There was no way a mere mortal could fall in love with a Goddess. Impossible! And there was no way a Goddess could fall in love with a mortal. Blasphemy! The idea made sense more and more and less and less.  
  
Of course, while I'd been consumed by my jealous fits, what the Fates said all came back to me. That fateful day when Sakura left, they had said that she needed to be on Kiramati. I understood now. "Of course. That's it!" I said.  
  
"What's it?" Kaho asked.  
  
"The Fates," I explained. "They said that 'events would happen that were necessary in Sakura's life'. I've been thinking about this ever since and it didn't make sense to me, because it didn't occurr to me that an immortal would fall in love with a mortal."  
  
"So she'll come back to us willing to accept love?" Eriol confirmed my train of thought.   
Kaho nodded. "Makes sense. One question though. What's going to happen with Kaiba?"  
  
The three of sat in silence. That was true. What about Kaiba. Should we just let him sit there in the dark? We should keep him away from Sakura as much as possible, I decided. Except I didn't want to say that out loud. Kaho and Eriol both knew about the slight animosity there was between Kaiba and I which would tarnish the validity of any decision I suggested about him.  
  
It was a good thing that Eriol seemed to be thinking the same thing I was though. "We are going to act as if we don't know," was his order. I was more than happy to oblige.  
  
Naturally, the first thing I remember doing the next morning was "reasearch" Yue. My way of reasearch was spelling a mirror and watching Yue very closely. He seemed like a nice enough person. I didn't see anything that suggested he would be anything like Kaiba - a deffinate plus. Then what I really wanted to see what what he saw. I wanted to see everything he saw, especially how he saw Sakura.  
  
So, random times through out the day, I'd watch the mirror. Yes, Yue had an unnerving tendancy to watch Sakura. In fact, he spent a seemingly unnatural amount of time looking at her. Just looking at her. Sakura on the other hand, hadn't noticed. How the Goddess of Love was able to be so dense about Yue's love I'll never know, but she didn't notice Yue's slightly covetous looks.  
  
One day while I was watching, Kaho came up behind me. Kaho is one of those people who is able to walk so softly that you don't even notice she's behind you until she taps your shoulder. "You know Syaoran. Yue doesn't know he in love yet. He asked me to help him figure it out. He seemed to be more than a little confused."  
  
"Are you going to help him?" I asked flatly. She shook her head. "Why not?"  
  
Kaho shrugged. "It just doesn't feel like the right thing to do." She looked through the mirror again. "Well, even though it looks like Sakura will be on Kiramati for a while, when she comes back..." She stopped there suggestively.  
  
I finished the sentence gloomily for mer. "When she comes back, Kaiba will be after her again and I'll be left in the dust....again."  
  
Kaho frowned. I was being _too_ gloomy. "Kaiba is unpredictable. We don't know what he'll do. May be he'll cool down, may be he won't, but the fact that you're willing to wait for Sakura when he isn't and that you want what will make her happy shows that you love her more and that your love for her truly is genuine....Kaiba's is....questionable."  
  
It was so like Kaho to try and cheer me up like that. And it would have worked to except at that very moment, Kaiba burst into my house. "Where the hell is everybody?"  
  
I shot Kaho and irritated look and she rolled her eyes. "You don't have to yell, Kaiba. We're right here," I said coming down the stairs.  
  
"I can't believe it," he went on. Barely taking the time to register that Kaho and I had entered the room. "She's been gone for over a month and all you can do is sit around and wait?"  
  
Sorely tempted though I was, I refrained from yelling back at him. "I just happen to have more patience than you do."  
  
If I could capture the look on Kaiba's face at that moment, I would. He looked like he half wanted to come beat me to a pulp, but wanted to keep me around to watch his triumph over Sakura. He would never have her though, as long as I was around, Sakura would be mine. I caught myself thinking that and looked down, almost ashamed of the way I was thinking.  
  
"What ever happened to all of us being friends?" Kaho asked painfully. Kaiba looked away. He didn't have an answer, but then again, neither did I. The stared holes through us before she finally left the two of us speechless.  
  
Kaiba looked at me like he wanted to say something insulting. "Syaoran-"  
  
"Shut up and get out. If you ever hurt Sakura again, I will personally see to it that you suffer for the next millenia."  
  
He smirked. "You don't even know her."  
  
"I know her better than you do and I know that she left out of hatred for you."  
  
"You know _nothing_," Kaiba hissed and stormed out of my house.  
  
Kaiba was such a stubborn ass.   
  
  
  
  
  
a/n: What did you think? I hope you review. I started another story. It was bad of me, I know, but I couldn't resist. I've written about six chapters ahead in Keys of Light and Dark and I was having writers block with this one, so I started The Onii-chan files. I rather like the title. Anywho. Go check it out plz. I hope I'll have another chapter up soon, but I like I've said before again and again: I can't garuntee it. So if you aren't on my mailing list, check back regularly. If you want to be on my mailing list, tell me and I'll add you. lotsa luv, cm2  



	14. What we keep to ourselves

  
**DISCLAIMER: I don't own any CCS characters, they belong to CLAMP.**  
  
  
  
a/n: **Japanfan** - No, it's not that I don't know what to write any more (I have plenty of the chapters written, I just don't have time to post). Because of the nature of this particular story, this part of the plot has already been decided. I just have to put it all into the right "perpective." I have to make sure the right parts connect, or else someone like **Sunshine/Kawaii Cat** will probably come and hunt me down. It almost doesn't matter anymore. And as a note on the time, yes it's going to pass faster. I made that particular decision a long time ago. And because I'm repeating myself and I'm nearly bored to death writing about this part (not the best thing for an author to admit, but at least I'm being honest, but then again, I'm noted for being "brutally honest" at all the wrong times -_-').... I'm running out of things for Syaoran to say, as Japanfan has noted. ^_^  
  
On a even more self-centered note: WAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I can't find the disk with my originals for I'm not the one for you and Phoenix rising!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;_; It was in the box with all my disks in it and ....then....now....i can't find it! A disk can't just up and run away! How? How? How? Good thing ff.net has that backup function now. I'm still sad over my lost disk though. *sniff*  
  
Ok. This was a really long author's note. I don't like having long author's notes. Sorry. On with the fic! XD   
  
  
  
  
  
  


**What we keep to ourselves**

  
  
  
In the back of my head, I really did understand how this whole thing happened. Sakura didn't associate Kiramati with her lost love anymore. The Realms, however, were a constant reminder of what she had lost, probably because we live in a rather static place. Everything looks the same here today as it did over three thousand years ago when I first came. I'm sure Kiramati failed to remind Sakura of anything because the Realms of the Gods is probably the only place that stays the same forever.  
  
As much as I thank Yue for opening Sakura's heart, I try not to think about those years too much. One thing that I believe is worth mentioning is Kaiba's death about a year and a half after Sakura had gone. I didn't even know a God could die.  
  
He had accidentally found out where Sakura was while Sakura was speaking with me. I'm not sure how he decided when to strike, but she was...very....pregnent. They fought for a little while, Kaiba nearly killed her before the Fates intervened. Clever of them to do that at the last minute. I don't know how to describe it. They formed a triangle around him and their white magic surrounded him and then he was gone. It must have been painful; his screams still haunt my dreams sometimes.   
  
The time right before Kaiba's discovery of Sakura was tense for the rest of us. Kaho, Eriol, and I spent most of our time watching Kaiba and Sakura. If I could reclaim all the sleep I lost watching over those two, I would. And what Kaiba did...I think he went crazy near the end. I really think he completely lost his already shaky grasp on reality.  
  
The Fates were right in killing him. If only for what he did. Kaiba defiled human life. He gave up his right to be a god the moment he took that servant girl and treated her the way he did. But now I've said to much. There never really was a "good" time to discuss Kaiba's insaity.  
  
Then Sakura lost her baby. Sakura and I don't like to talk about this very much either. But she had used up so much of herself fighting Kaiba that there wasn't any energy left for her child. I know about everything that happened, we just decided that some memories are unhealthy to dwell on.  
  
She stayed on Kiramati for another twenty years or so. For her, they were twenty wonderful years, but for me, I was only whiling the time away somehow. Hitas came and gave me a long lecture on "mental well being" one day. "Where were you when Kaiba needed you?" I asked.  
  
She gave me a hard look and then said slowly, "Even the gods are controlled by Fate and Destiny, Syaoran." She looked at me remorsefully and then left.  
  
Hitas had been forbidden from helping Kaiba, but she must have wanted to. That was why we didn't know about what he was doing sooner! Had I found out about this before Kaiba's death, I would have cursed the Fates. But we try to keep these things as quiet as possible.  
  
A horrible plauge swept through Kiramati one year. I didn't know about it. I wasn't even the first to find out. Kaho told me.  
  
"Yue's dead." Imagine being woken up to hear that your "rival" is dead. Kaiba had died, but Kaiba was different. I actually was OK with Yue. He was everything I would have wanted to be for Sakura even though he was a mortal. I was at the funeral. Sakura didn't see me. It would have scandalized her nobles if she was seen with me, an unknown male friend. I vaugely knew her children, but I didn't want to offend them by being seen as someone to replace their father.  
  
Sakura gave Yue a beautiful funeral. He was buried in a romantic little arbor of trees behind the castle. Afterwards, she snuck out of the funeral party and sat by his grave for a long time. I almost appeared just to make sure she got out of the cold, but her friends, Nakuru and Tomoyo came for her. Sakura didn't want to leave.  
  
I wondered if and when she would come back to the Realms of the Gods. She could have stayed for a long, long time to see here children and her grandchildren. Instead, she showed up at my doorstep a few days later. "Can I stay here? I don't want to go back to my house."  
  
Her arrival was completly unexpected. Even though she was still mourning, she looked as beautiful as she did when she had left twenty years ago. "As if you had to ask."  
  
A month passed, and then another. Sakura stopped wearing mourning clothes, but in her heart, she was still grieving. Sakura saw everything, but she didn't really _see_ anything. She'd eat mechanically, and sit for hours at a time, staring at the scenery outside. I wanted to talk to her about something, anything! Just to make sure that she was still alive in the shell of a body she seemed to be inhabiting. "Don't worry about it too much, Syaoran," Kaho comforted me. "When she's ready to talk, she'll come to you."  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
"It was like that before, it will be like that again."  
  
And sure enough, she did. I remember very clearly that day because it was the first day I started to really bring her back to life. Eriol and Kaho were visiting, I can't remember what we talked about. Then Sakura came down the stairs. Without saying a word, I don't know if her brain even registered the fact that Eriol and Kaho were in the same room as her, she sat down and sighed.  
  
She had been crying again. She must have just woken up because she had stopped crying over Yue while she was awake a long time ago, but when she was asleep, she kept on crying. "We should go," Kaho suggested tactfully to Eriol who agreed. She waved at Sakura, but like I said, I don't thing her brain was thinking to hard about anything then.  
  
We sat together for a long time. What was she here to talk about? Or did she just want to be with me? I didn't want to bet on either. "Do you remember the day I left?" she finally asked in a tired, timid voice.  
  
"How could I forget?" I asked.  
  
The distant look in her eyes tore at my heart. She was thinking about the past again.  
  
"You hugged me that day....can I have a hug?"  
  
It had been a while since another person had touched her and as soon as I did, she started to cry. "I'm sorry, I just feel so alone right now. I feel lost. I don't know what to do." She apologized over and over again.  
  
"Sakura, Sakura. You'll never be alone...You'll never be alone because you'll always have me," I said. I had to keep myself from joining her sobbing. Watching her cry made me feel pathetic. I hated seeing people cry, especially Sakura.  
  
From that day on, we started talking more and more. The two of us seemed to get to know each other better and better, and Sakura started to return to who she had been. "Goodness, Syaoran, you're a miracle worker!" Hitas praised when she saw the change in Sakura. She had nearly given up on Sakura earlier but than again.  
  
"Even the gods are controlled by Fate and Destiny," I quoted at her.  
  
She made a face. "I hate being quoted."  
  
Ten years passed. They were a quick ten years. Sakura had returned to normal, but was not completely living with me. She'd pretty much moved in. I think she left things in her old house just for the sake of appearances, but she ended up surrounding mine with cherry trees.  
  
I wonder if she started to suspect my feelings. I couldn't tell and because we were both Gods, I could conceal my thoughts from her.  
  
Every day I looked at her, I loved her even more, so when the Fates came to me, I was a little irritated. They sent me on a job in the mortal realms. There were some families I had to watch for a little while. "Why me?" I asked.  
  
"Because we need your bias," Enti replied.  
  
"My bias?"  
  
"Erm..." Vega looked embarrassed. "You'll see."  
  
"We need to know about these families from your eyes," Soko added.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Never mind why, you'll find out in a few years.  
  
"_Soko!_" the other two Fates admonished.  
  
I rolled my eyes. "Fine, fine. Who do you want me to go watch."  
  
Enti rattled off huge list of names. I looked at her. "Forget it. We'll be in contact with you the whole way, so you don't have to remember anything Enti just said," Vega said.  
  
So I told Sakura I was leaving on a trip and then...left.  
  
For months, I traveled, watching the way a few chosen families behaved. "I feel like a pervert," I informed the Fates one day. I had to watch how they treated their children, how they treated strangers, how they treated each other.  
  
"Would it be any condolance if we told you that you aren't a perv?" Enti suggested.  
  
"Very funny," I gritted my teath as the parents of the current family under watch pelted waste at a beggar.  
  
"Not them, not them at all," Vega commented.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Did I just say that so you could hear? Oops."  
  
"Ok, now I really want to know what's going on."  
  
"You aren't allowed to yet," Soko firmly replied.  
  
"Oh, so the yet implies that I'll find out eventually?"  
  
There was silence for a long time. "You can go home now, Syaoran."  
  
"That was sudden."  
  
"What? Do you want us to pretend to mull over our decision for a few days first, because we can do that too," Enti retorted.  
  
"No, no, I'm good. I think I'll be leaving now."  
  
I wandered back to my own house. From far away, I could see Sakura standing next to one of the cherry trees. When I got closer, I could see that she looked sad. For a moment, I imagined she was thinking about Yue, and then I remembered the dream. The dream that had started all of this in the first place! I knew what was going to happen next. She was going to...we were going to...I didn't want to believe it, but it was happening.  
  
Sakura saw me and ran into my hug and then.  
  
  
And then she started kissing me. Just like in the dream. I couldn't believe it. After so many years of waiting, it had finally come true! All those years when I had looked but not touched had finally paid off!  
  
"What brought on this sudden burst of affection?" I asked warily.  
  
"Syaoran, I need you. I need you more then I thought I did. I..I love you." I nearly fainted with joy at those words. I needed her too.  
  
Everything my mother and sisters had said to me all those years ago came flooding back. Meiling's death, the realization of who I had to be. All those memories of my early life came back to me. I could feel the tears in my eyes. "I've been waiting for this day for a long time. A very long time."  
  
I kissed her again. Her mouth, her cheeks, her chin, her neck. I kissed everything she would let me. And then she said it. She whispered a little word that made me stop. "Yue." As soon as the word escaped her precious lips, I stopped. I knew she was in love with me now, I knew it, but that didn't stop me from stopping. I let her out of my embrace and slumped away, unsure of how to react.  
  
I could hear her call my name, but I didn't want to go back just yet. I needed a chance to cool off. Behind me, I heard her sob outloud and the run away.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
a/n: Excellent. heh, heh, heh...That was supposed to be a "Mr. Burns" impression, from the Simpsons. I've seen like two episodes of that show, but I guess that's what Mr. Burns does. Booya! Take that Kaiba! I write you out like lightning! *does back flip* Who was sick of hearing about Kaiba! Who wants to know why they don't talk about what happened? Who wanted to know what the Fates were up to? Who wantes to know what's going on with s/s???   
  
Don't forget to be a responsible reader and review. ;P  
  
clika, clicka! *points at da button* 


	15. Starting over

  
**DISCLAIMER: I don't own any CCS characters, they belong to CLAMP.**  
  
  
  
a/n: SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry for the long wait.  
  
For the last three weeks, I haven't even touched my stories. The little time that I have that hasn't been devoted to school or my extra-curriculars or colleges has been devoted to sleep. I feel the compulsive desire to explain myself. Hell, I almost feel guilty opening the file now. But I relaize it's almost been a month since the last chapter, so here you go. I'll go let my guilt consume me now...   
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Starting over**

  
  
  
I retreated to my own room, wondering what I was going to do. I had hurt Sakura terribly, but it was an accident, on both our parts. A complete accident. I hadn't meant to be so abrupt. I'm sure she hadn't meant to say Yue's name. The thought of loosing Sakura again made me angry at myself. At the world.   
  
Hours later, when the birds outside stopped singing and the sun was about to go down, I went to Kaho and Eriol. "I felt like I was an intruder, you guys. When she said his name. I really love her, but I don't think I can live with her feeling like an intruder," I told them.  
  
I don't think Eriol or Kaho knew what to say except for the truth. "She's thinking of going back to Kiramati for a while," Eriol confessed.  
  
"But, but why? After ten years?"  
  
I had jumped out of my seat. Kaho pulled me back down. "Sakura thinks that you don't love her. She wants to go back, so at least she can be with her children. Her youngest would be twenty seven, her oldest would be thrity five. They're all still very young."  
  
"But...but then...but the-"  
  
"So why don't you just tell her you love her?" Eriol frankly suggested.  
  
"She still loves Yue," I remember whispering.  
  
"Yes, and she promised Yue that she would move on," Kaho put her hand on my arm. "She loves you almost to the point of distraction Syaoran."  
  
"And I've loved her for so long. I don't think I can stand losing her again either," I groaned, putting my head on the table.   
"Then tell her so," Eriol insisted.  
  
"She's probably gone by now." Then I realized how odd it was that Eriol and Kaho knew so much. I looked up at the two of them who were wearing very secretive smiles. "Wait a second. How do you know all this?"  
  
Kaho's grin grew wider. "She was here right before you were."  
  
Why was she grinning like a monkey? If she was here before I was..."So she's probably gone by now anyway," I said miserably.  
  
That's when I felt a tap on my shoulder. "No, I'm still here," a voice said. I wanted to brush it off, thinking it was an illusion, but Kaho was smiling like a maniac, so I had to turn around and see who it was. Of course it was Sakura, but my mind didn't believe it. I had to touch her to be sure that she was actually right there in front of me. So I hugged her.  
  
"We'll leave you two alone," Eriol said, dragging a protesting Kaho out of the room. I barely noticed that they had peeked around the corner every so often just to watch "the fun."  
  
Sakura looked even more beautiful than earlier that day. All the fatigue that had accumulated over the day was swept away by one look at her. She let me kiss her. I'll always remember that kiss because for the first time, I realized that Sakura was finally mine. For the first time, I realized that.  
  
I knew that she would never reject me, but part of me wanted to test that. "I'll be good to you, I'll be like Yue," I said.  
  
"No, don't be like Yue. I loved Yue because he was Yue, I love you because you're you."  
  
Right then and there, I would have kissed her again, except I heard Kaho sigh. I turned around and noticed that the two of them really hadn't left, at least not for very long. "This is so romantic," she sighed.  
  
Sakura turned bright red, I'm pretty sure I did the same thing too.  
  
Anyway, a few months later, we were formally married, with the whole long ceremony and all. In the Realms of the Gods, simply living together is good enough, but Sakura insisted on a big gala. I don't think I need to say this anymore, but she was looking spectacular that day. During the dinner afterwards though, the Fates showed up. With an uninvited surprise.  
  
The three of them had with them a little boy, no more than two years old. Sakura smiled. She loves children. "What's his name?" she asked.  
  
They looked at each other, slightly embarassed, and then looked at me. "Kaiba."  
  
Sakura nearly choked on her own spit, I could tell. "Kaiba?"  
  
"Yes, well since we messed up the first time, we were kind of hoping that someone could raise him for us," one of them said. Her tone hinted strongly at the idea that Sakura and I should volunteer.   
  
Thankfully, Kaho, ever helpful, jumped in. "We will!"  
  
Eriol gave her a look and screamed "what do you mean we will?" but she didn't notice.  
  
"You would never suspect, looking at this little boy, all those horrible things he did before, now would you?" Kaho asked, taking the little Kaiba from the Fates.  
  
Sakura laughed. All the while, I could read an emotional battle playing out on her face. I'm not quite sure what she decided on, but she kissed me and said to Kaho, "no you wouldn't."  
  
I looked at the Fates suspiciously. "Is that what you wanted me to watch? I mean, is that why you wanted me to watch all those families?"  
  
"Is that what you were doing?" Sakura queried.  
  
The Fates nodded. "We chose one and sent them a child."  
  
"So if you were going to bring Kaiba here anyways, why'd you need me?"  
  
"Because we originally intended for Kaiba to be raised in the mortal realms, but then we decided against that," Soko said.  
  
"No mater how good of a family we put him in, the way mortals are-" Vega left off.  
  
"It would have just been the same thing over and over again. Personality-wise," Enti finished.  
  
"We'll take him," Eriol confirmed as he played with the boy and completely falling in love with the child's ingenuity.  
  
"We rather suspected you would."  
  
I watched Eriol and Kaho play with Kaiba and remembered all those year ago when I had visited my sister. There were children everywhere. In the Realms of the Gods, there rarely are any births. And the arrival of a new god in the form of a baby is always a reason to celebrate, so the dinner was extended by several days, to acknowledge the new Kaiba.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
a/n: Sorry for the short chapter! If you want to find out what happened to Sakura and Kaiba you can go read "I'm not the one for you." Oh, and visit my blog ^_^ http://lazypanda.pitas.com 


	16. Fin

  
**DISCLAIMER: I don't own any CCS characters, they belong to CLAMP.**  
  
  
  
a/n: SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sorry for the long wait.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Fin**

  
  
  
The sun is delicious. Or at least. That's the way Sakura describes it. Delicious. Like a piece of candy you can suck on forever. And a you get a new one ever day. So for her, just for her, I moved the bed so that it faced the sun. She could wake up in the mornings and see the sun. More cherry trees too. I planted them just for her. Just for my Sakura.  
  
Waking up in the mornings before her is my hobby now. Well, not exactally my hobby, but close to it. I like watching her wake up. It's always the same sequence of facial expressions, but I will never tire of it. She opens her eyes with the groggy confused look that she gets when she's tired, or sick. And then she closes them again, but she's not asleep. Her hand searches for me, and then finding my arm or my chest, she latches on, and pulls herself closer with a satisfied look pasted on her face. She'll whisper an endearment then. That's when I wake up before her.  
  
Some days, she'll wake up before I do. I suspect on those days, she barely gets any sleep. She seems sad those days. They don't coincide with the death of any of her mortal family members or any festival days the mortals have for her. They just sort of happen. I don't know how to explain it.  
  
And then there's the two weeks in the spring when the cherries are ripe. We leave the kitchen to her then. She's so happy when she's like that. Her happiness is infectious.   
  
And when she gets callings from the Fates to go somewhere, I can never sleep well.   
  
I dream about the places I've been and the people I've known. I dream about my mother and my sisters. I dream about the father I never knew. I dream and I can't sleep. She comes back smelling of Kiramati, the smokey, cold smell of the temple they dedicated to her. She misses her children. That is the only time I regret being a God. If the two of us were mortal, I'd give her all the children she wanted.  
  
I'm glad I left home all those millenia ago. What would life have been like had I stayed home with Meiling and lived out my life there? And who would have won the jewel sleeping beside me right now?  
  
Who indeed.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
